The Mentalist quotes
453 total quotesRigsby: Seduction's not my strong point.
Jane: Seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. There's nothing to it.
Rigsby: Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around.
Jane: Why would I want a crowd of women following me around?
Jane: Seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. There's nothing to it.
Rigsby: Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around.
Jane: Why would I want a crowd of women following me around?
Rigsby: Teenagers. I hate questioning teenagers. It's like talking to mud.
Jane: You need some love in your heart.
Rigsby: Oh, is that my problem.
Jane: Yeah, it is.
Jane: You need some love in your heart.
Rigsby: Oh, is that my problem.
Jane: Yeah, it is.
Rigsby: You better call Lisbon, give her an update.
Jane: You call her.
Rigsby: I can't. I'm driving. Cho?
Cho: No way.
Jane: Oh, come on, guys. I just robbed a Russian mobster. You can't call Lisbon?
Jane: You call her.
Rigsby: I can't. I'm driving. Cho?
Cho: No way.
Jane: Oh, come on, guys. I just robbed a Russian mobster. You can't call Lisbon?
Rigsby: You think about older women?
Cho: Where's this coming from? I don't think about older women. My mother's an older woman.
Rigsby: Not old, old. Just older, you know, older than you.
Cho: Why are you asking? You're not trying to set me up with somebody, are you?
Cho: Where's this coming from? I don't think about older women. My mother's an older woman.
Rigsby: Not old, old. Just older, you know, older than you.
Cho: Why are you asking? You're not trying to set me up with somebody, are you?
Rulon Farnes: So I gotta pay for a little human contact now and then. Shoot me. It's not my fault I look like this.
Cho: It is actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise you could look very different.
Cho: It is actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise you could look very different.
Stutzer: You are skeptical. Nevertheless, it's true we are plumbing the depths of the human soul. Do you know what's down there? Do you know what your soul is made of?
Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails?
Stutzer: Ah. Humor. Good.
Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails?
Stutzer: Ah. Humor. Good.
Tamzin Dove: If a friend of mine had done this, they wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's murder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh.
Jane: A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.
Tamzin Dove: Exactly. It's perfect.
Jane: A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.
Tamzin Dove: Exactly. It's perfect.
Tommy: I was at the hospital, 'cause my appendix busted. You want to see my scar?
Lisbon: No. No, but I'm sure Mr. Jane would love to.
Lisbon: No. No, but I'm sure Mr. Jane would love to.
Trey: Ben's our go-to guy in Marquesa.
Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.
Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.
Victor: I wanna thank you and your team. Although, I must admit that whole scene in front of the house--
Oscar: It was make-believe, dad.
Victor: Sorry. The make-believe was a bit unorthodox and unpleasant, but I'm sure you all know what you're doing.
Lisbon: Most of the time.
Oscar: It was make-believe, dad.
Victor: Sorry. The make-believe was a bit unorthodox and unpleasant, but I'm sure you all know what you're doing.
Lisbon: Most of the time.
[A girl has gone missing and Jane is addressing the people in the search party]
Jane: I want you to look at me, all of you. And listen closely. I'd like you to raise your hand above you heads like this. [He raises his hands and the others do the same] Both hands. You too, sheriff. And you, agent Lisbon. Please. [The sheriff and Lisbon both raise their hands, too] Good. Very good. One of you-- One of you here killed Kara Palmer and abducted Nicole Gilbert. I want that person to lower their right hand now. [Jane lowers his right hand but no one else does] Okay, okay. It usually gets a hit. Forget I even spoke.
Jane: I want you to look at me, all of you. And listen closely. I'd like you to raise your hand above you heads like this. [He raises his hands and the others do the same] Both hands. You too, sheriff. And you, agent Lisbon. Please. [The sheriff and Lisbon both raise their hands, too] Good. Very good. One of you-- One of you here killed Kara Palmer and abducted Nicole Gilbert. I want that person to lower their right hand now. [Jane lowers his right hand but no one else does] Okay, okay. It usually gets a hit. Forget I even spoke.
[A guy is walking around the CBI office with a paper in his hand]
Cho: He's from the A.G's office. We're catching a hot one.
Jane: Hooray. I was about to go mad with boredom.
Grace: Don't say hooray. Someone's died.
Jane: Well, if they have, my happiness makes no difference to them.
Grace: Nor does catching their killer for that matter.
Jane: True, but it makes a difference to the killer.
Cho: He's from the A.G's office. We're catching a hot one.
Jane: Hooray. I was about to go mad with boredom.
Grace: Don't say hooray. Someone's died.
Jane: Well, if they have, my happiness makes no difference to them.
Grace: Nor does catching their killer for that matter.
Jane: True, but it makes a difference to the killer.
[A severed hand has been found on a road]
Rigsby: No. We're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while.
Jane: Why so glum? A case is a case.
Rigsby: We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as all hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch. Spend months assembling the victim, there's always a piece missing.
Jane: There's already plenty to work with right here.
Grace: It's a right hand with the number 43 on it.
Rigsby: No. We're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while.
Jane: Why so glum? A case is a case.
Rigsby: We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as all hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch. Spend months assembling the victim, there's always a piece missing.
Jane: There's already plenty to work with right here.
Grace: It's a right hand with the number 43 on it.
[Accusing a father of murdering his daughter]
Jane: An innocent man would've punched me by now.
Jane: An innocent man would've punched me by now.
[After Jane lets go of two street performers without Cho's authorizatio])
Cho: Nice. I could arrest you for that.
Jane: You'll never take me alive, copper.
Cho: Seriously.
Jane: Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?
Cho: Nice. I could arrest you for that.
Jane: You'll never take me alive, copper.
Cho: Seriously.
Jane: Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?