Mrs. Tolliver: I don't understand. You're psychic?
Jane: No, just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me.

Muriel Renfrew: [to Jane] Poor George dropped dead after the murder. Broke his heart, people said. George didn't really have a heart, in that sense. He died of embarrassment. A Renfrew in the pokey for murder. Quelle horreur.

Patrick: He irks me. He's irksome.

Philip Handler: I guess, uh, you must be bad cop.
Lisbon: I try.

Presiado: [to Rigsby] Are you guys gonna help or are you gonna stand there and pick your nose?

Rick Bregman: Six months of living in that chair. Six months and no one ever questioned me about it. Why did you?
Jane: Whenever I meet someone in a wheelchair I check the bottoms of their shoes. The bottoms of your shoes were scuffed. I've been checking shoes for years. This is the first time it's ever paid off. First time. That's gratifying, man. Very, very gratifying.
Lisbon: Ah, he's a pistol, isn't he?

Rigsby: [holding a bag of carrots] What is this?
Grace: That is healthy and nutritious snacking.
Rigsby: I'm gonna die.

Rigsby: All I'm saying, you can't say there's no such thing as a psychic just because you've never met one.
Cho: You're right. I've never seen a zebra, doesn't mean they don't exist.
Rigsby: Never seen a zebra?
Cho: Nah.
Rigsby: Never been to a zoo?
Cho: Yeah I don't get zoos. You pay money to look at animals, why?

Rigsby: Be fair. Not all the Doctors are cold and creepy.
Jane: First day in Medical School they get a stack of books and a dead human being. That, I'm afraid, would change you. Brooke Harper was warm and emotional.
Lisbon: You like her so she can't be a Doctor.
Jane: Pretty much.

Rigsby: He's lying.
Jane: Is he?
Rigsby: Given that the girl he dragged in is not actually a bag of spuds like he says, then yeah.
Jane: It's not lying if he believes it.
Rigsby: True.

Rigsby: I hate the woods.
Cho: Would you rather be playing desk jockey with Van Pelt right now?
Rigsby: Who sends their kids to a place like this? It's not cheap either.
Cho: A little deprivation and discipline is good for the soul.
Rigsby: Yeah, but this is like a juvie prison camp.
Cho: No. This is like spring break in Cancun compared to juvie.
Rigsby: Wait, you were in juvenile hall? Seriously?
Cho: Yeah, didn't you read my file?
Rigsby: No. Wait, did you read mine?
Cho: Of course.

Rigsby: I look around, I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar.
Patrick: Picture them naked and ravenously hungry.
Grace: Ew!

Rigsby: Jane, I need to ask you a favor. I need you to, uh...I need you to find out from Van Pelt about this guy she's dating. You know, what's the score?
Jane: The score?
Rigsby: Is it serious? Are they, uh, you know?
Jane: Ask her yourself.
Rigsby: Yeah, right. No. Come on. You know the situation. It's against the rules, relationships between coworkers.
Jane: What are you, a man or a mouse?
Rigsby: A man, obviously.
Jane: Could've fooled me.
Rigsby: If it's that guy from payroll, I will kill him.
Jane: Well, that would be a strong, romantic statement. Women like a man that would kill for them. Hey, Van Pelt!
Rigsby: Don't!

Rigsby: Oh, I've been hypnotized, have I? You gonna make me do embarrassing things? Pretend I'm Tina Turner or something?
Jane: You wanna be like Tina Turner?

Rigsby: Poison and a message in lipstick says this murder was done by a woman. Women have no secrets from other women.
Jane: Well, unless it was a cunning man posing as a woman.
Rigsby: What you think?
Jane: No.