Maddy: What are you, a moron? My dad just died.
Jane: Yes. My condolences. It happens. You'll learn to live with it. Not for, uh, a while, but in the end, you will.
Maddy: Who are you?
Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm the man that will find out who it was that killed your father and have him or her or them put in a prison cell if you'll talk to me.

Marshall Winston: CBI! CBI! Like that's supposed to mean something!
Cho: Yeah, we do need better brand awareness.

Matt Etienne: The Casino's on the Nevada side of the resort and offers full-service gaming. We recently spent ten million upgrading the facilities to improve the experience.
Jane: They use the same techniques in state-of-the-art animal husbandry to make cows and sheep feel more comfortable.
Matt Etienne: Really?
Jane: Dim lights, soft music, a maze of passages that lead you back to the pens, or in this case the slots.
Matt Etienne: Don't hold back. Speak your mind.
Jane: There's no clocks or windows anywhere, so there's no passage of time. Low priced alcohol is poured down you by attractive young women. Oxygen is pumped into the place to make you stay awake and the constant symphony of bells and sirens that make it seem like someone's winning all the time.
Matt Etienne: But someone is always winning. You see, our machines are carefully designed to let every gambler have a taste of victory. Just enough to keep them pumping their money into the machines and on to the table. So what's your point?
Jane: Oh, no point. I love it.

Michael: You don't speak to my son, without my permission.
Jane: Oh, well that's a little weird and controlling, but okay. Do you mind if I speak to your son, Mr. Elkins?

Minelli: Another bomb threat. Third this year.
Jane: Not on my phone it isn't.
Minelli: Well, granted they don't usually come through the CBI, but that's what the drills are for.
Jane: The text read, "Are you smart enough to find it?" I think this was directed at me.
Lisbon: Of course you think this is about you.

Minelli: Gardner Renfrew is a player in this town. You can't go to his house and screw around with him.
Jane: Why not? It's a free country.

Minelli: I gave this unit a direct written order and they have flagrantly disobeyed that order. Did they do that with your knowledge?
Lisbon: I ordered them to do it. I told them you countermanded your earlier order. They had no knowledge whatsoever that they were doing anything irregular.
Minelli: Nice try, Mother Teresa. But they already gave themselves up.
Rigsby: We never said a word-

Minelli: I'm giving you all formal notice. Any further infractions will result in immediate suspension.
Lisbon: Sir, you might as well suspend me now because there will be further infractions.

Minelli: Please do not dig the hole that you are standing in any deeper than you have already dug it.
Lisbon: No, sir.
Minelli: That hole is the grave of your very promising career.
Lisbon: You should put a flashlight underneath your chin just to complete the effect.
Minelli: I'm not kidding.
Lisbon: I know.

Minelli: What were you thinking? Leaving this man alone at an event like that?
Lisbon: No excuses, I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.

Mr. Faulk: David would want us to continue.
Mr. Breamer: Yes, he would. Yes, he would. David would never back down.
Jane: David wouldn't want you to respectfully acknowledge his tragic and untimely death? Oh, well, okay. He wouldn't want it to interfere with your kayaking schedule.

Mr. Faulk: You have no legal proof whatsoever.
Jane: Meh. Legal proof will be found, no doubt, but personally I don't need it. I just like to know that I'm right.

Mr. MacLean: I think you might show a little more respect.
Jane: Respect for...?
Chief Brody: There's a dead child here.
Jane: Yes, yes, he's dead. He doesn't care how I talk to you.

Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: [decidedly unimpressed] That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.

Mrs. Elkins: How can you be so cold?
Jane: Practice.