Jane: [talking about the painting] May I borrow it for a while?
Rob: I don't know about that. How do I know I'm going to get it back?
Jane: Let me put it another way. Lend it to me, or Agent Van Pelt here will take you and the painting back to Sacramento and keep you there and ask you mind-numbing questions for hours on end.

Jane: [to Arlov] Most successful criminal bosses show a similar profile. Sadistic, violent, but also highly methodical, they're psychologically astute.

Jane: [To Jessica Meier] Your father died protecting you. So in the end he-- he was there for you.

Jane: [To Lisbon] Why do we get so hung up on every little law everyone breaks?

Jane: [walks into Lisbon's office to see her trying on a bridesmaid dress] Hey, Lisbon. Any word on that list yet?
Lisbon: Geez, Jane! Do you mind knocking?
Jane: Whoa. My, my.
Lisbon: Van Pelt must die.
Jane: No, no, no. You look good. This is beautiful, like a princess. An angry little princess. Someone stole your tiara.
Lisbon: She caught me by surprise when she asked me, otherwise I never would have agreed to be a bridesmaid. Any why would she even ask me to do this? She knows I hate this crap!
Jane: I told her to ask you. I told her that you secretly wanted to be a bridesmaid.
Lisbon: Really. Why would you do that?
Jane: Oh, for the fun, and because deep down you secretly really do want to be a bridesmaid. Go ahead. Confess.

Jane: [while talking to Cody's parents] I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they?

Jane: A decision science consultant?
Lisbon: Don't start. This is way above us. If we're good to the feds, the feds will be good to us. When in doubt, don't act out.
Jane: You just made a rhyme. When are we ever in doubt?
Lisbon: Seriously, you start trouble and I will --
Jane: Burst my bubble?

Jane: Ah-ha!
Lisbon: Is that a useful ah-ha or an annoying ah-ha?

Jane: Be reasonable. This is my case.
Lisbon: Your case?
Jane: Red John's mine.
Lisbon: Red John doesn't belong to anyone.
[Long pause, everybody except Lisbon and Jane go into the house]
Jane: He belongs to me.

Jane: Beautiful, isn't it?
Lisbon: For a crime scene, yeah.

Jane: But first, could someone please make me a cup of tea?
[Lisbon, Cho and Van Pelt all get up and walk away]
Jane: Is that a yes? [Sniffs a few times] Rigsby.

Jane: Calling? Is that what this is?
Kristina Frye: Yeah. Calling. Gift if you like, there's no doubt you have it. Why'd you give it up?
Jane: It was the suits. Chaffing. Horrible.

Jane: Can I please continue working with you?
Lisbon: I thought you were quitting.
Jane: You know I didn't mean that.
Lisbon: So the job is worthwhile, is it?
Jane: Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.
Lisbon: No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.
Jane: Agreed.
Lisbon: I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.
Jane: No mess, I swear.
Lisbon: On that basis, you can remain with the unit.
Jane: Thank you. [He hugs her]

Jane: Can't sleep alone, huh?
Fricke: Some people use cocoa and a good book. I use beautiful women.

Jane: Candice, take my advice. Forgive your mother. Maybe the headaches will stop.
Candice: I love my mother.
Jane: Oh, I'm wrong. Ignore my advice.