Rigsby: You think about older women?
Cho: Where's this coming from? I don't think about older women. My mother's an older woman.
Rigsby: Not old, old. Just older, you know, older than you.
Cho: Why are you asking? You're not trying to set me up with somebody, are you?

Rulon Farnes: So I gotta pay for a little human contact now and then. Shoot me. It's not my fault I look like this.
Cho: It is actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise you could look very different.

Sheriff Burnside: So you're the psychic, huh?
Jane: No. There's no such thing as psychics.

Stiles: [after having watched the confession of a murderer] Thank you for letting me watch this.
Van Pelt: No problem. Visualizing my anger works really well. I'm just returning the favor.
Stiles: There's so much more that I could teach you.
Van Pelt: Really?
Stiles: To be free of doubt, anger, fear. Let me show you the world as you've never seen it. Let me show you you as you've never seen yourself.
Van Pelt: Great sales pitch, but I'm sort of over bad boys these days. [kisses his cheek] Thanks anyway. [walks away]

Stutzer: You are skeptical. Nevertheless, it's true we are plumbing the depths of the human soul. Do you know what's down there? Do you know what your soul is made of?
Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails?
Stutzer: Ah. Humor. Good.

Tamzin Dove: If a friend of mine had done this, they wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's murder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh.
Jane: A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.
Tamzin Dove: Exactly. It's perfect.

Teresa Lisbon: What about you, Walter? Last year you said you'd do anything for a thrill.
Walter Mashburn: What do you have in mind?
[Shots are fired at them]
Teresa Lisbon: Get down!
Patrick Jane: Thrilling enough for you, Walter?

Todd: Rest assured, I won't be pulling any vigilante nonsense.
Lisbon: I'm very sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you see it that way. There's no upside to taking the law into your own hands. Revenge truly doesn't work.
Jane: Well that's just a sweeping statement, isn't it? I'm sure we can all think of examples where revenge has worked splendidly.
Lisbon: Thanks for your input.
Jane: Just saying.

Tom Doverton: If I may say so, what I do very much resent is the tone of your questioning.
Lisbon: I'm sorry if we've offended you.
Jane: No, don't say that. This is a murder investigation. I can be as hard ass as I'd like to be. Thank you.
Lisbon: [quietly to Jane] Actually it's not a murder investigation yet. If Mr. Warren dies, which seems likely, it'll become a murder investigation.
Jane: Oh yeah, that's right. He's not dead. Uh... well I apologize for my rudeness. Heh.

Tommy: I was at the hospital, 'cause my appendix busted. You want to see my scar?
Lisbon: No. No, but I'm sure Mr. Jane would love to.

Trey: Ben's our go-to guy in Marquesa.
Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.

Van Pelt: [having sustained a head wound, is talking to a figment of her imagination] Did you love me?
O'Laughlin: Of course I loved you.
Van Pelt: Then why did you try to kill me?
O'Laughlin: I had to make a choice between you and Red John. We all have to make hard choices, Grace, but that doesn't make me evil.
Van Pelt: [scoffs] It kind of does.
O'Laughlin: Grace.
Van Pelt: I was just too stupid to see it.
O'Laughlin: Oh, no. You saw it.
Van Pelt: No, I didn't.
O'Laughlin: Not all of it, but you knew there was something. Something a little dangerous under the nice-guy stuff. You kind of liked it. You can't open your eyes a little bit, Grace. You've got to open them all the way to see the truth of things.
Van Pelt: What are you talking about? Why are you doing this to me?
O'Laughlin: How should I know? I'm just a figment of your imagination.

Van Pelt: Hey, how did you know Billy was having an affair with the teacher?
Jane: They both had leaves on them from their make-out spot in the woods.
Van Pelt: And?
Jane: Plus, I could tell she liked him. She was meaner to him than the other kids. You know, like Lisbon is to me.
Lisbon: Shut up!
Jane: See?

Van Pelt: I lied this morning. I do care that you're seeing someone else. It hurts a little. I mean, it's no biggie. I'll get over it. I want us to be friends. We can get to that point, right? Can't we be just friends?
Rigsby: Yeah, sure we can.
Van Pelt: Good. I'd like that.

Van Pelt: Jane, I'm sorry to ask this, but do you ever talk to your wife?
Jane: Yes, sometimes.
Van Pelt: Do you ever see her?
Jane: No. Never.
Van Pelt: If you did see her, would you think you were crazy?
Jane: Craig came to see you, didn't he?
Van Pelt: Yes.
Jane: What did he want?
Van Pelt: I don't know. This will sound really weird, but he kind of saved my life.
Jane: Figuratively speaking, I hope.
Van Pelt: Yes. I mean, he wasn't really there, but --
Jane: Now you can't decide what to do with the necklace he gave you because it reminds you of the past. Maybe try to forget it or you could learn to live with it.