The Golden Girls quotes
465 total quotesRose: The name Madonna doesn't really fit her.
Sophia: "Slut" would be better!
Rose: Sophia!
Dorothy: Oh, please, please! She did things on that stage I never did with my husband!
Sophia: "Slut" would be better!
Rose: Sophia!
Dorothy: Oh, please, please! She did things on that stage I never did with my husband!
Rose: This is like "The Long Day's Journey Into Light".
Dorothy: [correcting her] Night, Rose.
Rose: [heading to her room] Night, Dorothy.
Dorothy: [correcting her] Night, Rose.
Rose: [heading to her room] Night, Dorothy.
Rose: What a day. One sad person after another.
Dorothy: Rose, you work at grief counseling. What do you expect, comedians?
Dorothy: Rose, you work at grief counseling. What do you expect, comedians?
Rose: When Charlie went off to war, I went to work for our local USO Club, and that's where I first met Eddie, the Aqua Midget.
Blanche: He was a blue midget?
Rose: Don't be ridiculous, he was a diving midget. That was his act. He used to jump off a stepladder into this gigantic punch bowl.
Dorothy: So, um, what happened?
Rose: Nothing, he'd just swim to the side and hop out...
Dorothy: I mean, uh, what happened between you and Eddie?
Rose: We talked a lot between shows, and, of course, I didn't realize it, but he was falling for me.
Blanche: Didn't have far to fall.
Rose: It started with little things...
Blanche: I bet. [she and Dorothy crack up]
Rose: Pretty soon the situation got out of control, and I tried to let him down gently.
Blanche: You tried to make it short and sweet? [she and Dorothy laugh again]
Rose: He just wouldn't take no for an answer, so I finally just had to tell him straight out that I didn't feel about him the way he felt about me. It had nothing to do with his size, it was just that I could never become seriously involved with anybody in show business.
Dorothy: [trying not to laugh] Thank you, Rose. I, I don't know what to say. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Blanche: He was a blue midget?
Rose: Don't be ridiculous, he was a diving midget. That was his act. He used to jump off a stepladder into this gigantic punch bowl.
Dorothy: So, um, what happened?
Rose: Nothing, he'd just swim to the side and hop out...
Dorothy: I mean, uh, what happened between you and Eddie?
Rose: We talked a lot between shows, and, of course, I didn't realize it, but he was falling for me.
Blanche: Didn't have far to fall.
Rose: It started with little things...
Blanche: I bet. [she and Dorothy crack up]
Rose: Pretty soon the situation got out of control, and I tried to let him down gently.
Blanche: You tried to make it short and sweet? [she and Dorothy laugh again]
Rose: He just wouldn't take no for an answer, so I finally just had to tell him straight out that I didn't feel about him the way he felt about me. It had nothing to do with his size, it was just that I could never become seriously involved with anybody in show business.
Dorothy: [trying not to laugh] Thank you, Rose. I, I don't know what to say. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Rose: [The robbers] were probably looking for drugs.
Dorothy: We have Maalox and estrogen. And how many junkies have gas and hot flashes?
Dorothy: We have Maalox and estrogen. And how many junkies have gas and hot flashes?
Security System Salesman: So those are the facts, ladies. It's not a pretty picture. One out of every three people will be the victim of a violent crime.
Rose: That's awful!
Salesman: And since there are four of you, that means at least one of you will be a victim... [pauses for emphasis] ...of a violent crime. One of you right here, gcchk! [makes slicing motion across his throat with his finger]
Rose: And I read that one out of every three people will get cancer! Well, that means one of us will get cancer, so that takes care of two of us!
Rose: That's awful!
Salesman: And since there are four of you, that means at least one of you will be a victim... [pauses for emphasis] ...of a violent crime. One of you right here, gcchk! [makes slicing motion across his throat with his finger]
Rose: And I read that one out of every three people will get cancer! Well, that means one of us will get cancer, so that takes care of two of us!
Sophia: [after Rose fires her gun and shatters Blanche's vase] I manage to live 80, 81 years. I survived pneumonia, two operations, a stroke. One night I'll belch and Stable Mabel here will blow my head off!
Sophia: [angrily, after the girls choose Mama Celeste's pizza over hers in a taste test] You can't pick men and you can't pick pizza!
Sophia: [interrupting Rose's conversation with Charley] Are you two coming? The spaghetti is getting cold!
Rose: We'll be there in a minute, Sophia. We're in the middle of a makeup lesson.
Sophia: I hope the kid can help ya. You wear more rouge than Miss Piggy.
Rose: We'll be there in a minute, Sophia. We're in the middle of a makeup lesson.
Sophia: I hope the kid can help ya. You wear more rouge than Miss Piggy.
Sophia: [playing Scrabble with Dorothy] I win!
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There is no such word as that!
Sophia: There certainly is.
Dorothy: Fine. I'll look it up, and if it isn't in the dictionary, I win.
Sophia: We don't have a dictionary.
Dorothy: Yes we do.
Sophia: Not anymore, the robbers took it.
Dorothy: They stole our dictionary?
Sophia: That's right. Too bad.
Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word! You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word!
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: [pauses] You're no good at disdam game!
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There is no such word as that!
Sophia: There certainly is.
Dorothy: Fine. I'll look it up, and if it isn't in the dictionary, I win.
Sophia: We don't have a dictionary.
Dorothy: Yes we do.
Sophia: Not anymore, the robbers took it.
Dorothy: They stole our dictionary?
Sophia: That's right. Too bad.
Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word! You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word!
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: [pauses] You're no good at disdam game!
Sophia: [seeing Blanche in her old retro-like outfit] Who invited Gidget to the garage sale?
Sophia: [tasting her sauce] Mmm... if this sauce was a person I'd get naked and make love to it.
Sophia: [to Dorothy] I can't believe you're denying your own mother.
Rose: Denying her what?
Dorothy: Springsteen tickets Rose.
Rose: Denying her what?
Dorothy: Springsteen tickets Rose.
Sophia: [to Rose] There's a man in your bed.
Rose: ...Sophia, there's not!
Blanche: [to Rose] Why, you devil, you!
Dorothy: So that was what we heard! Rose!
Blanche: Rose got lucky!
Sophia: Not so lucky. The man in your bed is dead.
Rose: ...Sophia, there's not!
Blanche: [to Rose] Why, you devil, you!
Dorothy: So that was what we heard! Rose!
Blanche: Rose got lucky!
Sophia: Not so lucky. The man in your bed is dead.