The Cosby Show quotes
222 total quotesCliff: What's the matter?
Rudy: I'm bored.
Cliff: You're bored? Well that's funny because I've got $3 million of books up in your room.
Rudy: I'm bored.
Cliff: You're bored? Well that's funny because I've got $3 million of books up in your room.
Denise: Dad, it's okay to be weird here, but you're going outside the house now.
Theo: He's a minister, Dad, he'll tell God we're crazy.
Cliff: We are here to say good bye to Lamont, the goldfish. Vanessa: I always felt safe with him around.
Theo: He's a minister, Dad, he'll tell God we're crazy.
Cliff: We are here to say good bye to Lamont, the goldfish. Vanessa: I always felt safe with him around.
Denise: Dad, it's okay to be weird here, but you're going outside the house now.
Theo: He's a minister, Dad, he'll tell God we're crazy.
Cliff: We are here to say good bye to Lamont, the goldfish. Vanessa: I always felt safe with him around.
Theo: He's a minister, Dad, he'll tell God we're crazy.
Cliff: We are here to say good bye to Lamont, the goldfish. Vanessa: I always felt safe with him around.
Ernie: How much did you weigh in college?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Ernie: How much did you weigh in college?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Female Client: That's a wonderful thing you're doing for your wife!
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Female Client: That's a wonderful thing you're doing for your wife!
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Rudy: [yelling from upstairs] Daddy!! Did Mommy leave?
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Rudy: [yelling from upstairs] Daddy!! Did Mommy leave?
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Theo: [cleaning the kitchen] Dad is it okay if I take a break now?
Cliff: Yeah, uh you've been working five minutes straight now.
Cliff: Yeah, uh you've been working five minutes straight now.
Theo: [cleaning the kitchen] Dad is it okay if I take a break now?
Cliff: Yeah, uh you've been working five minutes straight now.
Cliff: Yeah, uh you've been working five minutes straight now.
Theo: [revealing his earring to Cliff] It's an earring, dad. There's a hole in my ear, and Denise says it might be infected.
[Cliff comes over, to examine the ear, touches the ear, and Theo flinches]
Cliff: Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.
Theo: What are you gonna do to me?
Cliff: I am going to fix your ear.
Theo: Then what?
Cliff: You expecting some sort of punishment?
Theo: Shouldn't I?
Cliff: Yeah.
[Cliff comes over, to examine the ear, touches the ear, and Theo flinches]
Cliff: Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.
Theo: What are you gonna do to me?
Cliff: I am going to fix your ear.
Theo: Then what?
Cliff: You expecting some sort of punishment?
Theo: Shouldn't I?
Cliff: Yeah.
Theo: [revealing his earring to Cliff] It's an earring, dad. There's a hole in my ear, and Denise says it might be infected.
[Cliff comes over, to examine the ear, touches the ear, and Theo flinches]
Cliff: Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.
Theo: What are you gonna do to me?
Cliff: I am going to fix your ear.
Theo: Then what?
Cliff: You expecting some sort of punishment?
Theo: Shouldn't I?
Cliff: Yeah.
[Cliff comes over, to examine the ear, touches the ear, and Theo flinches]
Cliff: Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.
Theo: What are you gonna do to me?
Cliff: I am going to fix your ear.
Theo: Then what?
Cliff: You expecting some sort of punishment?
Theo: Shouldn't I?
Cliff: Yeah.
Theo: Dad, Denise is hogging the bathroom!
Cliff: Why don't you use the one downstairs?
Theo: The small one? That one's for guests.
Cliff: Then pretend you don't live here.
Cliff: Why don't you use the one downstairs?
Theo: The small one? That one's for guests.
Cliff: Then pretend you don't live here.
Theo: Dad, Denise is hogging the bathroom!
Cliff: Why don't you use the one downstairs?
Theo: The small one? That one's for guests.
Cliff: Then pretend you don't live here.
Cliff: Why don't you use the one downstairs?
Theo: The small one? That one's for guests.
Cliff: Then pretend you don't live here.