[after scaring Sheldon with a Halloween prank]
Howard: I thought he would faint.
Raj: I thought he would pee himself.
Leonard: Looks like everyone's a winner!

[All watching Howard's launch on TV]
Bernadette: I love that man.
Raj: Me, too.
[Bernadette instinctively grabs Raj's hand]
Penny: I can't believe it. This whole time, a small part of me thought he was lying.
[She grabs Leonard's hand]
Leonard: This is it.
Sheldon: Boldly go, Howard Wolowitz.
[He grabs Amy's hand which surprises Amy]
Howard: [from inside the rocket as it lifts off] Oy vay!
Season 6

[Leonard and Amy are sitting alone at their table at a wedding reception]
Amy: Would you like to dance?
Leonard: [depressed] No, thank you. I'm not really much of a dancer.
[long pause]
Amy: Not exactly winning any trophies as a conversationalist either.
Leonard: I'm sorry. The bride and groom seem happy.
Amy: Why shouldn't they be? They have a feverish night of socially approved copulation ahead of them. In some cultures, we'd stand outside of their bedroom cheering as they achieved orgasm.
Leonard: That sounds like a late night, and I have work in the morning.
Amy: [fed up] Leonard, you may not have noticed, but I am being a delight here. And you're not holding up your end of the evening.
Leonard: I'm sorry. This wedding just reminds me of my kinda-sorta-girlfriend 9,000 miles away.
Amy: I have a kinda-sorta-boyfriend who's playing with a model train right now, you don't hear me bitching about it.

[Penny is trying to explain Raj's naïvete to Emily with Howard translating into sign language]
Penny: Raj is naïve. He hasn't dated a whole lot of women. [Howard gets distracted by two women at the reception desk behind them] and I'm concerned that, without meaning to, you might be taking advantage of him, by letting him buy you lots of expensive things and I��[realizes that Howard hasn't been translating] Howard! Focus. Tell her what I'm saying.
Howard: Right. [signing] Are you a gold digger or not?
[Penny turns to him in shock. Emily is outraged and begins signing furiously]
Howard: [translating hastily] Oh, uh, something, something. Who the something do you think you are? Mind your own something business and go something yourself.

[Penny just gave Leonard and Sheldon each a vintage Star Trek transporter toy]
Sheldon: Look, it was actually designed for my vintage Mr. Spock action figure!
Penny: Oh, that's great, let's open it up and put him in there!
[Leonard and Sheldon recoil and cradle the boxes defensively]
Sheldon: Oh, good lord, no!
Penny: Why? They're just toys.
Sheldon: Mint in box!
Penny: C'mon, can't we open one up and take a look?
[Leonard and Sheldon recoil again]
Leonard: No! Once you open the box it loses its value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, my mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.

[Sheldon and Amy are talking in her apartment]
Sheldon: I was hoping she [Penny] might listen to you about the dangers of owning unhygienic furniture.
Amy: For general educational purposes or has she acquired a bar stool dipped in cholera?
Sheldon: Cholera is water-borne, you're mocking me.
Amy: Yes, I am.
Sheldon: Penny has dragged a chair in off the street whose unknown provenance jeopardizes the health and welfare of every resident of our building.
Amy: Sheldon, just because you have a focus on cleanliness bordering on the psychotic doesn't mean I have to participate.
Sheldon: All right. Name your price.
Amy: [thinks] Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: ��You mean like Salt Lake City?

[The group is discussing Raj's new girlfriend possibly taking advantage of him]
Sheldon: I actually have information about Raj that would be helpful with this discussion. [resumes eating]
Leonard: [long pause] Could you tell us?
Sheldon: Let's see��[rolls dice] Snake eyes. Sorry, bud.
Penny: [points to dice] Wait, hang on. Doubles. Roll again.
[Sheldon does so]
Sheldon: ��Okay, get this. [Penny and Leonard exchange looks of annoyance] It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts. Because the Koothrappalis are vastly wealthy.
Penny: What do you mean "vastly wealthy"?
Sheldon: Well, wealthy means a lot of money, and vastly means even more��I'm not sure what's tripping you up.
Leonard: Oh, I know they have money. I don't think it's that much.
Sheldon: No, you're wrong. See, as you know, a few years ago, I achieved one of my lesser dreams and became a Notary Public. From time to time, I notarized banking documents for Raj. The Koothrappalis aren't just rich. They are Richie Rich rich.
Penny: Well, so how much is that?
Sheldon: About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck. ($18.5 billion)
[The others look shocked]
Howard: [outraged] What the hell! The last time we went to the zoo, that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro!
Leonard: Listen guys I don't meant to be rude, but I need to go call Raj's sister, who I love so much. So vastly much.