[Amy's phone rings with a text message from Bernadette, who is having dinner with Howard, Leonard, and Priya]
Amy: Hang on. [looks at her phone] It's the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career.
Penny: What the hell did she say?
Amy: She thinks it's cool you're following your dream, no matter what.
Penny: [short pause] That bitch!

[Leonard is taking Sheldon's MVPD to work in their car]
Sheldon: I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities, we're like Knight Rider.
Leonard: Except, in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
Sheldon: You mock the sphincter, but the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. [an image of internal human body anatomy with numerous arrows appears on the MVPD's screen] There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
Leonard: I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider.

[Leonard knocks on Todd Zarnecki's front door]
Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom!
Raj: Don't say "Your doom". Who opens the door for their doom?
Sheldon: Good point. [to the door] Basket of puppies.

[Sheldon suggests taking up jogging]
Penny: Have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly! I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistant P.E. teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.
[Raj whispers in Howard's ear]
Howard: You're right, Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.
Sheldon: That's an excellent idea! If we chat it will create the illusion of time going faster!
Penny: No, it won't.

[The guys are playing Mystic Warlords of Ka'ah]
Raj: Water demon.
Howard: Ice dragon.
Leonard: [victorious tone of voice] Lesser Warlord of Ka'ah!
Sheldon: Not so fast! Infinite Sheldon.
Leonard: Infinite Sheldon?!
Sheldon: Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards, and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.
Leonard: Do you understand why people don't want to play with you?
Sheldon: No. Although it's a question I've been pondering since preschool.

[the guys are reading responses to Sheldon's lecture]
Leonard: I found another Tweet from a student at Sheldon's lecture: [from his phone] "Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect."
[Raj laughs]
Howard: Listen to this one: [from his phone] "Does Einstein's theory explain why time flies when you're having fun, but when you're listening to Dr. Cooper, it falls out of the sky, dead?"
[Howard and Leonard laugh]
Raj: [while on a laptop] Ooh, somebody took pictures and uploaded them to their Flickr account.
[Howard and Leonard have a look on the laptop]
Leonard: [amazed] Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.
[Penny enters]
Penny: Hey, Leonard, is your wi-fi down? I can't get on.
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It's now "Penny is a freeloader"��no spaces.
Penny: [typing on her phone] Thanks. What are you guys doing?
Leonard: Sheldon gave a lecture at the university tonight [and] we're reading the reviews.
Penny: Oh, how'd he do?
Howard: Well, picture the Hindenburg meets Chernobyl meets Three Mile Island meets Tron 2.
Penny: That bad, huh?
Leonard: [going to Penny with his phone] Read this woman's Tweet.
Penny: [reading from Leonard's phone] "Listening to Dr. Cooper's made me want to start cutting myself again."

[Sheldon has joined Penny, Bernadette and Amy Farrah Fowler on their girls night out at a bar]
Penny: Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?
Sheldon: Other than my mother, my sister and my mee-maw, no. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus and had to give mouth-to-mouth to an elderly nun who passed out from heat exhaustion. Every year I get a Christmas card from her, signed with far too many X's and O's.
Bernadette: That doesn't count! Aren't you even a little curious?
Penny: Yeah, you're a scientist, where is the curiosity?
Amy: I'm available for experimentation [turns towards Sheldon and puckers up]
Sheldon: Thank you, but not necessary. We know everything there is to know about kissing. It requires 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles
Amy: Oh blah blah blah. Give me some sugar, bestie. [turns to Penny and kisses her, all three girls start giggling]
Sheldon: I'm certainly glad no one said they were curious about Aztec human sacrifice.