Psych quotes

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All Seasons
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Lassiter: [after Shawns wipes makeup off of suspect's forehead] He's wearing makeup!
Student: Is he gay?
Shawn: No! ...Um, maybe. [pause] Look, I... I don't know.

Lassiter: [to Henry] Spencer, what the hell are you doing?
Shawn: Which Spencer are you talking to?
Lassiter: What does it matter? You're the same person!
Shawn: Am not!

Lassiter: [to Shawn] Nice shooting, Detective.
Shawn: Did you just call me detective?
Lassiter: No.

Lassiter: A dead body changes things.
Shawn: That's his email signature.

Lassiter: Are you in my apartment?
Shawn: Please. I haven't snuck into your apartment for weeks. Which reminds me, you're all out of peanut butter.

Lassiter: Can I tell you a secret?
Shawn: I wouldn't recommend it, no.

Lassiter: Come on chief, let me run with this one.
Henry: [seated in a corner] What if we let them work together? Separately, but together?
Shawn: [pointing at Henry] That lonely bald guy in the corner makes no sense.
Gus: Am I the only person that's freaked out he's been sitting there the whole time?

Lassiter: Do you think he gets his jollies by taking pictures of your ding dong?!

Lassiter: Don't you try and trivialize police work.
Shawn: I think you're doing a bang-up job of that all by yourself.

Lassiter: Guster, you have to wake up to the real world: people have sex and kill each other. That's the real world. Not some magical "feelings" place.

Lassiter: Have at it. Who knows, maybe you'll solve the great ice cream crime caper of the century?
Shawn: Crime of the century, huh? Still have 91 years to solve that one. Gus and I are gonna pace ourselves. We accept.

Lassiter: I don't collect dolls.
Paget: You look like the kind of guy who does.

Lassiter: I have an educated guess... that's 100% accurate. Officer Conforth here froze like the North Pole, because when some men look danger in the eye they blink... repeatedly... like they're staring into the sun.

Lassiter: I want our killer--
Shawn: Arsassin! Or karsonist?
Gus: Arsassin.
. . .
Lassiter: This could be our killer.
Shawn: Furderer.
Lassiter: What?
Shawn: Fire murderer... furderer.
. . .
Shawn: We have found our arsonurderer.
Gus: What?
Shawn: Firearsman.
Gus: Uh-uh.
Shawn: Se�or pantalones del fuego?

Lassiter: I'd rather shower with a bear.