Nip/Tuck quotes

349 total quotes



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Liz: I'm getting my kid baptized.
Christian: Over my dead body.
Liz: Easily arranged.

Matt: Look, what's happened between the three of you is painful. But we can fix this.
Sean: Your mother slept with my best friend, and you were the result, and I didn't know for 17 years, so stop defending them!
Matt: Yeah, and my mother is sleeping in a hotel because you kicked her out, and I can hear you crying through the walls at night, so don't you dare scream at me!

Matt: No, this whole family is bullshit. And you're the reason why.
Julia: Don't talk to me like that, I am still your mother.
Matt: You're not my mother, you're a whore.
[Julia raises her hand, but Matt blocks it.]
Matt: Even if you did hit me, it would still be true.

Matt: She's the life coach my mom hired to get my grades up.
Christian: Your grades, asshole, not your dick!

Matt: What are you writing?
Sean: My obituary. I read somewhere that writing your own was a good motivational tool.
Mtt: And what does it say?
Sean: "Dr. Sean McNamara, 101 years old, died Tuesday night of natural causes. Inventor of bipolar liposuction. He was described by his friends and large family as a good doctor, good husband..."
Matt: ...And a good father.

Natasha: The best thing of being blind is that you don't fear the unknown, cause everything's unknown.

Patient (looking at a model walking by): How do you improve on that, huh?
Christian: Oh, there are ways. Believe me.
Patient: [referring to Christian's broken nose] Can I ask you how...?
Christian: Bedroom acrobatics.
Patient: Are you here to get it reset?
Christian: That's for wimps. I'm here to consult with Dr. Jordan about a surgical technique. She's a colleague of mine.

Principal Wentworth: Excuse me, Miss Moore. If I had a dime for every time a parent threatens legal action, I'd be living in Key West, sipping Piña Coladas and writing short stories.

Sean McNamara: Remember, We're treating a patient here, not just a vagina.
Christian Troy: That's easy for you to say. You've never been with Vagina Gina!

Sean: [about women's orgasms] We´ll never really know what gets them off just like they´ll never know what it´s like to have a hard-on. It´s like trying to describe the sky to a blind man. We´re just groping in the dark.

Sean: [after punching Christian to the ground] I loved you the most!

Sean: [discussing Julia] Do you want to be with her now?
Christian: Thought about it.
Sean: Do you think Matt looks like you?
Christian: Yes.
Sean: When you masturbate, do you ever think about her?
Christian: Yes.
Sean: Did you ever ask her to not marry me?
Christian: No.
Sean: Did you want to?
Christian: Yes.

Sean: [discussing Manya] I don't think this is something we can do!
Christian: Look, Sean, you may be the expert on nerve reattachment, but I'm a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy. If I build it, she will come.

Sean: [to Christian] Fine. Raise Matt. I spent 17 years trying to corral your bad genetics. Let's see if you can do better.

Sean: Actually I worked for Médecins Sans Frontières.
Christian: What?
Sean: Doctors without borders.
Christian: Oh yeah, yeah... I read about that in Time magazine. You fix some guy's cleft after walking into landmines. That kind of shit.