Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesSalini (David): What's wrong, Philouza? A few too many of Mr. Graham's crackers?
San Francisco protester (Sarah Silverman): We're spending all this money, millions of dollars, to blow up the moon, when there are so many things here on Earth to blow up ... Mount Everest, the North Pole, et cetera. We're earthlings, let's blow up Earth things!
Science program host (Bob): Scientists have ascertained that there may be as many as... 24 stars in the cosmos.
Shamul/Anwar (David/Paul F. Tompkins): I spit on your spit. I piss on your spit. I shit on your piss. I fart on your shit. I laugh at your fart. We are friends again! Hey!
Shoe Court Shoe Store employee (Jay Johnston): Have you ever taken a train and eaten it piece by piece... after you just derailed it with your penis?
Prospective Shoe Court Shoe Store employee (Bob): Yes...It was for charity!
Prospective Shoe Court Shoe Store employee (Bob): Yes...It was for charity!
Shoe Court Shoe Store interviewer (Paul F. Tompkins): I am a control-freak because I was molested by my parents... Oh, God! What a breakthrough!
Successful siamese twin (Bob): No! I worked. You sat on my ass and did nothing!
The Bob: It's time to eat the poison s'mores...get them while they're poison-ey; that's when they're best.
Victor, the dumped landlord (Bob): Is Victor now to fix the sun? I cannot get up there.