Monk quotes
0 total quotesMrs. Ling: You come back anytime, Mr. Babcock. You good customer, 'cause you don't complain.
Lt. Disher: Ma'am, he just killed eleven people.
Stottlemeyer: Twelve. Let's not forget about the first Mrs. Babcock, who I'll bet is buried under that new porch.
Mrs. Ling: Yeah, well... he still good customer. Not crazy like that Mr. Monk over there.
Lt. Disher: Ma'am, he just killed eleven people.
Stottlemeyer: Twelve. Let's not forget about the first Mrs. Babcock, who I'll bet is buried under that new porch.
Mrs. Ling: Yeah, well... he still good customer. Not crazy like that Mr. Monk over there.
Mrs. Monk: Adrian!
Young Adrian Monk: Mom, everybody's watching.
Mrs. Monk: Here's your lunch. It's cut into ten little squares, just like we like. And here's your first aid kit, and your toiletries bag.
Young Adrian Monk: Mom...
Mrs. Monk: You'll thank me later. Don't share your lunch with anyone, and sit near the fire doors. I'll pick you up at 3:07, I'll be wearing an orange blouse.
Young Adrian Monk: Mom, I know what you look like. I love you, Mom.
[He opens his arms to hug her.]
Mrs. Monk: What are you doing?
Young Adrian: Right, sorry.
[He puts down one of his bags and gives her a brisk handshake.]
Young Adrian Monk: Mom, everybody's watching.
Mrs. Monk: Here's your lunch. It's cut into ten little squares, just like we like. And here's your first aid kit, and your toiletries bag.
Young Adrian Monk: Mom...
Mrs. Monk: You'll thank me later. Don't share your lunch with anyone, and sit near the fire doors. I'll pick you up at 3:07, I'll be wearing an orange blouse.
Young Adrian Monk: Mom, I know what you look like. I love you, Mom.
[He opens his arms to hug her.]
Mrs. Monk: What are you doing?
Young Adrian: Right, sorry.
[He puts down one of his bags and gives her a brisk handshake.]
Natalie Teeger: [as Monk puts a small coin in a donation jar at the museum] It says five dollars.
Adrian Monk: Suggested donation. Considered their suggestion. Appreciate their suggestion. Decided to give less.
Adrian Monk: Suggested donation. Considered their suggestion. Appreciate their suggestion. Decided to give less.
Natalie Teeger: [after Hodge insults her outfit] He did it!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, he's not even a suspect!
Natalie Teeger: Damn!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, he's not even a suspect!
Natalie Teeger: Damn!
Natalie Teeger: What was he like? As a kid?
Sherry Judd: Pretty much the same. Careful, smart... sad.
Sherry Judd: Pretty much the same. Careful, smart... sad.
Natalie: [after convincing both Monk and Steve Wagner to speak at Julie's school] I'm gonna be class mom of the year!
Scott Gregorio: They say that when you lose an arm, you can still feel it. That's what it feels like. I miss her so much. How do you... how do you go on? How do you keep working?
Adrian Monk: When Trudy fell in love with me, I was a detective. I was on the street, breaking cases. So I keep working. I keep trying to be the man she loved. That's all you can do: be the man she loved.
Adrian Monk: When Trudy fell in love with me, I was a detective. I was on the street, breaking cases. So I keep working. I keep trying to be the man she loved. That's all you can do: be the man she loved.
Sharona Fleming: [about Kenny Shale] You called him a weasel.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, I didn't.
Sharona Fleming: Yeah, you did. Three weeks ago.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I never said "weasel." I said he was a... "woof." Oh, yeah, I said "weasel." I called him a weasel, but you see, that's not a bad thing. I had a weasel. A weasel is a noble animal, all right? It's a term of endearment. [to a passing cop] Jerry, hey, how are you doing, you weasel? Good to see you! [turns back to Sharona] See, I call everybody a weasel.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, I didn't.
Sharona Fleming: Yeah, you did. Three weeks ago.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I never said "weasel." I said he was a... "woof." Oh, yeah, I said "weasel." I called him a weasel, but you see, that's not a bad thing. I had a weasel. A weasel is a noble animal, all right? It's a term of endearment. [to a passing cop] Jerry, hey, how are you doing, you weasel? Good to see you! [turns back to Sharona] See, I call everybody a weasel.
Sharona Fleming: Now Benjy, you're grounded! That means no TV, and no Playstation!
Benjy Fleming: Mom!
Adrian Monk: Sharona, he was just sticking up for a friend.
Sharona Fleming: Adrian, you stay out of this! You're not his father!
Adrian Monk: That's true, but I care about him as much as any father.
[He rips off the Band-Aid again.]
Benjy Fleming: OW!
Benjy Fleming: Mom!
Adrian Monk: Sharona, he was just sticking up for a friend.
Sharona Fleming: Adrian, you stay out of this! You're not his father!
Adrian Monk: That's true, but I care about him as much as any father.
[He rips off the Band-Aid again.]
Benjy Fleming: OW!
Sharona Fleming: [answers phone] Hello? No, I'm Sharona, his assistant. Who's this? Hold on, please. [to Monk] Adrian? You have a brother?
[Everyone looks up, surprised. Long pause.]
Adrian Monk: No.
Sharona Fleming: [into phone] I'm sorry, sir, you must have the wrong Adrian Monk.
[She hangs up. Immediately, the phone starts ringing again.]
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait... I might have a brother.
Sharona Fleming: You told me you were an only child.
Adrian Monk: I consider myself an only child. We're not close! He has issues.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [raised eyebrow] Your brother has issues?
Adrian Monk: Don't you people have work to do?! There's a dead woman over there!
[Everyone looks up, surprised. Long pause.]
Adrian Monk: No.
Sharona Fleming: [into phone] I'm sorry, sir, you must have the wrong Adrian Monk.
[She hangs up. Immediately, the phone starts ringing again.]
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait... I might have a brother.
Sharona Fleming: You told me you were an only child.
Adrian Monk: I consider myself an only child. We're not close! He has issues.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [raised eyebrow] Your brother has issues?
Adrian Monk: Don't you people have work to do?! There's a dead woman over there!
Sharona Fleming: Adrian, you have to sit. This is a picnic.
Adrian Monk: I - I don't sit on the ground. Animals do things on the ground - terrible, terrible things.
Adrian Monk: I - I don't sit on the ground. Animals do things on the ground - terrible, terrible things.
Sharona Fleming: Ambrose, come with us.
Ambrose Monk: Outside? Oh no, I can't.
Sharona Fleming: You're just gonna hide in this house for the rest of your life?
Ambrose Monk: That's my plan, yes.
Ambrose Monk: Outside? Oh no, I can't.
Sharona Fleming: You're just gonna hide in this house for the rest of your life?
Ambrose Monk: That's my plan, yes.
Sharona Fleming: Have you been drinking?
Lt. Randall Disher: Yes, I have. I couldn't think of any other way to get all this Scotch into my body.
Lt. Randall Disher: Yes, I have. I couldn't think of any other way to get all this Scotch into my body.
Sharona Fleming: Is that a new tie?
Lt. Randall Disher: It's a gift from my girlfriend.
Sharona Fleming: She has very good taste. In ties, not in men.
Lt. Randall Disher: Ooh -- do I detect a hint of jealousy?
Sharona Fleming: If you do, it's the only detecting you've ever done.
Lt. Randall Disher: It's a gift from my girlfriend.
Sharona Fleming: She has very good taste. In ties, not in men.
Lt. Randall Disher: Ooh -- do I detect a hint of jealousy?
Sharona Fleming: If you do, it's the only detecting you've ever done.
Sharona Fleming: So, how'd the dating go?
Adrian Monk: Oh, it was terrible! Thank God I'm not single!
Sharona Fleming: You are single.
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah.
Adrian Monk: Oh, it was terrible! Thank God I'm not single!
Sharona Fleming: You are single.
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah.