Monk quotes

0 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  



Monk: [to a Korn member] I like your socks.
Band Member: They're not socks. [He pulls up his pant leg and uncovers a very large tattoo, and Monk covers his eyes and Julie's eyes.]

Monk: Don't laugh, I just wanted to make sure.
Sharona: Is there a tree by the window?
Monk: Yes.
Sharona: Is there a mobile by the closet?
Monk: Yes.
Sharona:Is there a picture of Trudy on the nightstand?
Monk: Yes.
Sharona:Adrian, you are in your own house.

Monk: Hey, you know what they say: wherever the Monk is, it's Mardi Gras.

Monk: I am so outta here.

Monk: I like your music. It's very... musical. But I wish I could understand more of the words.

Monk: I play the clarinet. Played with Willie Nelson.

Monk: I solved the case!
Sharona: What are you doing?
Monk: I'm dancing a jig!
Sharona: That's not a jig.
Monk: What is it, then?
Sharona: I don't know, I don't want to know.
Monk: I'm back, baby!

Monk: I'm half-man, half-wuss. I'm a muss.

Monk: It doesn't make any sense.
Stottlemeyer: Does everything have to make sense, Monk?
Monk: Well... yeah, it kinda does.

Monk: She forgot she was a vegetarian? Who forgets they're vegetarian? It's like... forgetting you're a Republican.

Monk: So what do you think?
Stottlemeyer: Well, why ask me? My hippie wife's a much better cop than I am.
Monk: Don't say that.
Stottlemeyer: Look, I don't mind living in your shadow, Monk; you're a freak of nature.
Monk: Thank you.

Monk: You gotta be a little skeptical, Sharona. Otherwise you end up believing in everything -- UFOs, elves, income tax rebates...

Monk: You... it was you. You filthy, disgusting animal! YOU MAKE ME SICK!
[confused, everyone turns to look]
Busboy: Me?
Sharona: What are you doing? He's a busboy!
Monk: Sharona, don't you recognize him? From the subway! He's the Urinator! Urinator! It was you! Don't try to deny it-
Stottlemeyer: Monk...
Monk: We saw what you did-!
Stottlemeyer: Monk! Could we get back to the quadruple homicide, please?

Monk:What am I doing up here? What am I doing up here?!
Sharona: Rescuing me!

Mrs. Ledsky: Here, take this one. I made it with exactly ten chocolate chips, like you like.
Adrian: [bites the cookie] You're an excellent cook, Mrs. Ledsky.
Mrs. Ledsky: It's a gift... [hand to her stomach] And a curse.