M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesTrapper (at show end as ribs are being served): Should we say grace?
Hawkeye: Praise the Lord, and pass the sauce.
Hawkeye: Praise the Lord, and pass the sauce.
Trapper (on the phone with old girlfriend): What're the ribs for?
Hawkeye (whispers): Anatomy Practice!
Trapper: Anatomy Practice. Yeah, they don't let us use real people. The sauce? Well, uh.. they don't let us use fake blood either. ...You understand!?
Hawkeye (whispers): Anatomy Practice!
Trapper: Anatomy Practice. Yeah, they don't let us use real people. The sauce? Well, uh.. they don't let us use fake blood either. ...You understand!?
Trapper [looking at the dead General Kelly]: He died with his boots on.
Hawkeye: And his socks off.
Hawkeye: And his socks off.
Trapper: [listening to Radar play the piano] Hey Radar, don't you know another song?
Hawkeye: He doesn't even know THAT one. [Radar continues to play.] Radar, if you keep this up, you could be arrested for felonious fingering.
Hawkeye: He doesn't even know THAT one. [Radar continues to play.] Radar, if you keep this up, you could be arrested for felonious fingering.
Trapper: [Upon seeing Frank in the longjohns.] Look at what the giant rodent has on his body.
Hawkeye: Supparating pustules, if there's any justice. [to Frank] Where'd you get those longjohns!
Frank: Wouldn't you like to know!
Hawkeye: [picks up empty gas can and prepares to swing at Frank.] Those are mine you hermaphroditic weasel!
Frank: Possession is 9/10 of the law, Pierce. And I'm sleeping with a loaded baseball bat under my pillow, so don't try anything!
Hawkeye: If I didn't think it would keep you warm, Frank, I'd come over there and beat you to a pulp. Say your prayers, Frank, or the tooth fairy may come and knock out all your teeth!
Hawkeye: Supparating pustules, if there's any justice. [to Frank] Where'd you get those longjohns!
Frank: Wouldn't you like to know!
Hawkeye: [picks up empty gas can and prepares to swing at Frank.] Those are mine you hermaphroditic weasel!
Frank: Possession is 9/10 of the law, Pierce. And I'm sleeping with a loaded baseball bat under my pillow, so don't try anything!
Hawkeye: If I didn't think it would keep you warm, Frank, I'd come over there and beat you to a pulp. Say your prayers, Frank, or the tooth fairy may come and knock out all your teeth!
Trapper: [while Hawkeye is working on Tuttle's profile] You should write fiction.
Hawkeye: You should read my file.
Hawkeye: You should read my file.
Trapper: Come on, Frank! Outta the way!
Frank: You're not going anywhere in that, McIntyre. This jeep is the official property of the US Army in general and Col. Blake in particular and as such is to be used for the official duties thereof and nothing else.
Trapper: Frank, you're sucking around to become a hit and run case. Move!
Frank: Over my dead body.
Trapper: Great idea!
Frank: You're not going anywhere in that, McIntyre. This jeep is the official property of the US Army in general and Col. Blake in particular and as such is to be used for the official duties thereof and nothing else.
Trapper: Frank, you're sucking around to become a hit and run case. Move!
Frank: Over my dead body.
Trapper: Great idea!
Trapper: Does Henry have an enemy?
Hawkeye: Doesn't sound like the work of a friend. I think we better keep an eye on him.
Trapper: Now?
Hawkeye: He may not have a later.
Hawkeye: Doesn't sound like the work of a friend. I think we better keep an eye on him.
Trapper: Now?
Hawkeye: He may not have a later.
Trapper: Henry's not here.
Hawkeye: Are you sure? Sometimes when he's here I get that feeling.
Hawkeye: Are you sure? Sometimes when he's here I get that feeling.
Trapper: Henry, the guy could have died!
Hawkeye: He was bleeding, Henry. And Frank, here, who studied medicine under General Rommel was too chicken to operate. He was afraid that under anaesthesia the lieutenant might give away Harry Truman's hat size!
Hawkeye: He was bleeding, Henry. And Frank, here, who studied medicine under General Rommel was too chicken to operate. He was afraid that under anaesthesia the lieutenant might give away Harry Truman's hat size!
Trapper: Hurry up, the truck will be here soon.
[Radar looks up as if he hears something and moves faster]
Hawkeye: I think we just passed soon!
[Radar looks up as if he hears something and moves faster]
Hawkeye: I think we just passed soon!