Potter (seeing Klinger in a Class A uniform): Klinger, you're out of uniform!

Potter (to Hawkeye): This is the happy hour. Angry hour starts at ten!

Potter (upon hearing about Mrs. Potter dancing with Hawkeye's dad at the party): Hawk, if your father is anything like you, we're going to have a long, long talk about this.

Potter: (sees Frank holding a bunch of guns): Burns, didn't I see your face in the wanted poster? Who wants to take first watch over the prisoner?
Hawkeye: He does.
BJ: He will.
Frank: I do.
Potter: All right. If you don't accidentally shoot yourself in two hours I will relieve you then. If you do, I'll relieve you earlier.

Potter: (talking to his wife on the phone): I'm perfectly fine mother. Yes it's just as Radar said, I'm at the Officers Club.
Radar: I'll have another beer.
Hawkeye: May I have the next tango Major?
Potter: Take it easy, the woman's not a nitwit. What's that Mother? Oh I do respect your preminitions. Yes it was you who said my sister'd go bald. Happily your wrong this time.

Potter: [Giving a speech about returning home in one piece] And remember, someone at home loves you. Don't ask me why.

Potter: Grandma Mavis has a saying for everything. No wonder Grandpa Wilmer stomped on his hearing aid.

Potter: Have yourself a nice long rest and be back here in twelve minutes.

Potter: How can you see with those filthy glasses?
Radar: I know where everything is.
Potter: (seeing Klinger eat a piece of a jeep): "A" for effort Klinger but it's not gonna work.
Klinger: Watch this. (swallows the lugnut and smiles).
Radar: Oh wow right down.
Klinger: Dip it in a little 30 weight motor oil, pop it in and let it slide down the gullet like a blue point oyster.
Radar: Colonel he's crazy.
Klinger: See? I got a witness. You gotta give me a Section 8 and send me home.
Potter: No dice.
Klinger: If you don't let me out for being a nut you're nuttier than me! Sir.

Potter: How's the clamp working, son?
Hawkeye: Like a lioness holding her cub.

Potter: I just wonder if I'm getting what this painting is really all about: the camaraderie, the affection we have for each other. Oh, I'm getting the bodies all right, but I wonder if I'm getting the souls. Maybe I bit off more than I can chew.
Klinger: Uh, I have to go sir. (he leaves)
Potter: Of course son. You know, you people have been closer than kinfolk to me, you make it almost bearable being over here.
Margaret: Excuse me sir please. (she leaves)
Potter: Surely. In a way, this painting is a way of sharing my Korean family with my family back home.
Mulcahy: Of course. Of course. (he leaves leaving Potter at a table by himself)
Potter: It ain't easy telling people how close you are to 'em when they aren't here.

Potter: I'll bet you'd love a good breakfast.
Clayton Kibbee: I sure would, but I'll settle for what you folks eat.

Potter: I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son and he dresses a lot like my wife.

Potter: If Frank Burns makes any more patronizing cracks about my age, I'll take him behind the motor pool and let the air out of his tires.

Potter: It's a tragedy people have to eat horses, they're beautiful animals. You ever take a peek at a cow or a pig? They're ugly. We're doing them a favor by eating 'em . Saves 'em the agony of looking at their reflections in the trough every morning. But a horse, that's a noble beast. Why, in the cavalry, a man's steed was his best friend, a real companion. Where do people get off making pork chops out of them? Too much killing in this world, too much death. No respect for people, for tradition, for life. The whole world is spinning down the tubes and nobody even seems to notice. I don't know, I...(breaking off due to the looks of the others)