M*A*S*H quotes

576 total quotes


PA Announcement: Attention all personnel. Due to a lack of casualties, tonight's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 AM. And midnight has been cancelled.

PA Announcement: Attention all personnel. Due to the incredible mediocrity of last night's movie, it will be shown again tonight at 2100 hours.

PA Announcement: Attention all personnel. The Mess Tent is closed this afternoon for the medical staff meeting. Unfortunately, it will re-open for dinner at 1700 hours.

PA Announcement: Attention! The Chinese have begun a new offensive. Command anticipate heavy casualties within the next twenty-four hours. This is a recording.

PA Announcement: Attention, the following personnel have volunteered to go on a ten-mile fitness hike. [Silence]

PA Announcement: Due to conditions beyond our control, we regret to announce that lunch is now being served.

PA Announcement: Due to the number of people bored last Sunday, next Sunday will be canceled.

Potter (about a General): The man graduated 312th out of 320 and he says he's gonna do his best.

Potter (about Col. Wheatley): He's a real stickler for regulations, especially hair length.
Hawkeye: I'll pin my hair under my hat, (points to Bigelow) and you better cut those sideburns.

Potter (about Klinger): Is he wearing a class A uniform?
Hawkeye: Let's see. Ugly color, forty years out of style, fits like a tent? Yeah that's a Class A all right.

Potter (after Margaret tells Charles that Potter order her to play with him): Confucius say: "A bird on the collar beats your fifty dollar."

Potter (after Mulcahy blessed the food): Thank God for ketchup.
Radar: He just did.

Potter (after the staff has sung him "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"): Thank you folks, that was really lousy.
Charles: Well, what do you expect with very little talent and only five minutes' preparation?

Potter (during a long OR session): I was transferred here seven days ago; seems like I've been operating for eight.

Potter (sarcastically): Evening Captains Heckle and Jeckle, I would have been here sooner but I stopped to watch the dancing in the streets.