M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesHawkeye: Will you stick that gun in your holster.
Frank: I can plug an ace of hearts at fifty feet.
Hawkeye: I'll remember that if we're ever attacked by a bridge club.
Frank: I can plug an ace of hearts at fifty feet.
Hawkeye: I'll remember that if we're ever attacked by a bridge club.
Hawkeye: Winchester, the only people up in Korea at this hour are snipers and milkmen!
Hawkeye: With Klinger and Mulcahy's blood in him, this kid will wake up singing "Ave Maria" in Lebanese.
Hawkeye: You are great with scissors (talking to Bill the lawyer), you could be a doctor or a barber.
Margaret: This is so unprofessional, I really must object.
BJ: Objection overruled
Hawkeye: Relax Margaret. The lawyer is only here on a trial basis
BJ: Haven't you ever heard of anyone ever practicing medicine?
Hawkeye: And besides, the case is closed and the patient rests
BJ: OR is now adjourned (Hits an emesis basin with a hammer)
Margaret: This is so unprofessional, I really must object.
BJ: Objection overruled
Hawkeye: Relax Margaret. The lawyer is only here on a trial basis
BJ: Haven't you ever heard of anyone ever practicing medicine?
Hawkeye: And besides, the case is closed and the patient rests
BJ: OR is now adjourned (Hits an emesis basin with a hammer)
Hawkeye: You know sir, you just might go down in medical history.
Pak: How so?
Hawkeye: As the first Doctor ever to set two broken legs, and both of them his own.
Pak: How so?
Hawkeye: As the first Doctor ever to set two broken legs, and both of them his own.
Hawkeye: You know, I never hit a woman.
Burns: You lay one finger on Margaret...
Hawkeye: I was talking about you, Frank.
Burns: You lay one finger on Margaret...
Hawkeye: I was talking about you, Frank.
Hawkeye: You're out of uniform!
Nurse: Where?
Hawkeye: How about my tent in five minutes?
Nurse: Where?
Hawkeye: How about my tent in five minutes?
Hawkeye: You've got to have a pair of pajamas, look around. You had a pair when you got here.
BJ: I had a lot of things when I got here. Faith, hope, sanity, a liver.
BJ: I had a lot of things when I got here. Faith, hope, sanity, a liver.
Henry Blake: Don't do that!
Radar O' Reilly: Yes sir, you wanted to see me sir?
Henry Blake: Yes, but let me say I want to see you before I see you.
Radar O' Reilly: Yes sir, you wanted to see these? [pushing sheaf of papers to Henry]
Henry Blake: How do you know that?
Radar O' Reilly: That's why you called me.
Henry Blake: Oh yeah.
Radar O' Reilly: [reaching for different papers] You wanted me to take these sir?
Henry Blake: [absently] Yeah.
Radar O' Reilly: Yes sir, you wanted to see me sir?
Henry Blake: Yes, but let me say I want to see you before I see you.
Radar O' Reilly: Yes sir, you wanted to see these? [pushing sheaf of papers to Henry]
Henry Blake: How do you know that?
Radar O' Reilly: That's why you called me.
Henry Blake: Oh yeah.
Radar O' Reilly: [reaching for different papers] You wanted me to take these sir?
Henry Blake: [absently] Yeah.
Henry Blake: Radar, what's going on?
Radar: It's a patient, sir. He blew his cork.
Hawkeye: Sidney, front and center.
Sidney: I'm not going out there without a bulletproof couch!
Radar: It's a patient, sir. He blew his cork.
Hawkeye: Sidney, front and center.
Sidney: I'm not going out there without a bulletproof couch!
Henry (about Radar's tattoo): Radar, getting one of those is very unsanitary.
Radar: Oh, I washed my hands first, sir.
Radar: Oh, I washed my hands first, sir.
Henry (talking to Hawkeye and Trapper about a missing lamb): Do I know, Do I know anything? Everything in this country disappears but me. Boy, I'd like to wake up one morning, look down, and find myself gone.