M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesFrank: The way I see it, unless we each conform, unless we obey orders, unless we follow our leaders blindly, there is no possible way we can remain free.
Frank: When are you gonna learn about Chinese treachery? Didn't Pearl Harbor teach you anything?
Frank: Yeah. I thought I'd hit the town with that new nurse.
Margaret: You mean the little red-headed one with the freckles on her nose?
Frank: Yeah, that one.
Margaret: Don't you think she's a bit young for you?
Frank: (smugly) Well, yeah. I just thought that a little youth would be nice for a change.
Margaret: You mean the little red-headed one with the freckles on her nose?
Frank: Yeah, that one.
Margaret: Don't you think she's a bit young for you?
Frank: (smugly) Well, yeah. I just thought that a little youth would be nice for a change.
Frank: You're asking me to let a pervert out of the Army?!
Hawkeye: Oh, by all means, Frank. Let's leave the perverts in the Army.
Trapper: Anyway, Klinger's not a pervert.
Hot Lips: How do you know?
Trapper: Because I'm one--and he's never at the meetings!
Hawkeye: Oh, by all means, Frank. Let's leave the perverts in the Army.
Trapper: Anyway, Klinger's not a pervert.
Hot Lips: How do you know?
Trapper: Because I'm one--and he's never at the meetings!
General Barker: Nurse, is everyone in this outfit crazy?
Nurse: Everybody who's sane is, sir.
Nurse: Everybody who's sane is, sir.
General Barker: What are you doing, Corporal?
Radar: Doing, sir?
Barker: D-O-I-N-G! What are you doing?
Radar: I'm listening to you spell "doing", sir.
Radar: Doing, sir?
Barker: D-O-I-N-G! What are you doing?
Radar: I'm listening to you spell "doing", sir.
General Clayton: Henry, are you sitting down?
Henry: [stands up] No, sir.
Clayton: Maybe you better.
Henry: [sits down] Yes, sir.
Hawkeye: Is he giving you calisthenics over the phone?
Henry: [stands up] No, sir.
Clayton: Maybe you better.
Henry: [sits down] Yes, sir.
Hawkeye: Is he giving you calisthenics over the phone?
General Mitchell: Who are you?
Margaret: Majors Burns and Houlihan, sir!
General Mitchell: Which is which?
Hawkeye: Doesn't matter, they're interchangeable.
Margaret: Majors Burns and Houlihan, sir!
General Mitchell: Which is which?
Hawkeye: Doesn't matter, they're interchangeable.
General Prescott: You look familiar, Colonel. Do I know you?
Potter: I don't think so, General.
Prescott: Were you in World War II?
Potter: Yes, sir.
b>Prescott: I knew you looked familiar!
Potter: I don't think so, General.
Prescott: Were you in World War II?
Potter: Yes, sir.
b>Prescott: I knew you looked familiar!
General Steele (inspecting Radar O'Reilly): The Irish were rotten Indian fighters! (Relenting and patting Radar's shoulders) Enlisted men . . . backbone of the Army! Where are you from, son?
Radar: Ottumwa, Iowa, sir--
General Steele: NO TALKING IN THE RANKS!
Radar: Ottumwa, Iowa, sir--
General Steele: NO TALKING IN THE RANKS!
General Steele (inspecting Father Mulcahy): There are no atheists in foxholes!
Father Mulcahy: I've heard that.
General Steele I'd like to see a shine on that cross, father.
Father Mulcahy: I've heard that.
General Steele I'd like to see a shine on that cross, father.
General Steele: I predict an early end to this war, if it doesn't rain and we get all wet.
General Steele: War and whiskey don't mix! General Grant kept throwing up on his bugler.
Hawkeye Pierce: Henry, you have no idea what it's like sharing a tent with a guy who thinks he's all twelve disciples!
Hawkeye Pierce: Hey, Ho-Jon, come here. I got a letter from Dean Lodge.
����Trapper John McIntyre: Is that a good place to stay?
����Trapper John McIntyre: Is that a good place to stay?