M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesFrank: I don't care what Captain McIntyre said, I have never cared, and at this point I don't care twice as much as I never cared before!
Frank: I found out something about someone that is very interesting--very interesting.
Trapper: Let us guess.
Hawkeye: Is this person a well-stacked U.S. Army major nurse who's bigger than a breadbox that you're seeing on the side?
Frank: No... [realizes what Hawkeye said] ...no!
Trapper: Let us guess.
Hawkeye: Is this person a well-stacked U.S. Army major nurse who's bigger than a breadbox that you're seeing on the side?
Frank: No... [realizes what Hawkeye said] ...no!
Frank: I happen to believe in the sanctity of marriage no matter how ugly or disgusting it gets. I'd kill her before I'd divorce her!
Frank: I think it ill behooves us--
Hawkeye: Behooves? What, are we in the cavalry now?
Hawkeye: Behooves? What, are we in the cavalry now?
Frank: I think the Colonel might like to know that Major Houlihan's father was under General MacArthur in the cavalry.
Hawkeye: Her father was a horse. Did you know that?
Trapper: Our engagement is off.
Hawkeye: Her father was a horse. Did you know that?
Trapper: Our engagement is off.
Frank: I'll write you every day--faithfully.
Margaret: You promise?
Frank: Just like I do my wife.
Margaret: You promise?
Frank: Just like I do my wife.
Frank: I'm fine, Mom. Well actually, I'm not. You see, I had this friend. And this friend only pretended to like me. You know, the way Dad used to?
Frank: Klinger, I want to see you out of that dress...tonight!
Klinger: Never on a first date, sir!
Klinger: Never on a first date, sir!
Frank: Pierce, you disgust me!
Hawkeye: That's right, Frank. I discussed you with everyone I know. They all think you're disgusting.
Hawkeye: That's right, Frank. I discussed you with everyone I know. They all think you're disgusting.
Frank: Pierce, you need to sign in upon returning to the camp.
Hawkeye: Hello, honey, I'm home.
Hawkeye: Hello, honey, I'm home.
Frank: So like you, Hunnicutt. Not a patriotic bone in your body.
Hawkeye: No wonder the man flunked anatomy, he thinks there are patriotic bones!
Hawkeye: No wonder the man flunked anatomy, he thinks there are patriotic bones!
Frank: The man is not normal!
Hawkeye: What's normal, Frank?
Frank: Normal is everybody doing the same thing.
Trapper: What about individuality?
Frank: Well, individuality is fine--as long as we all do it together.
Hawkeye: What's normal, Frank?
Frank: Normal is everybody doing the same thing.
Trapper: What about individuality?
Frank: Well, individuality is fine--as long as we all do it together.