Invader Zim quotes

263 total quotes



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Season 1
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Zim: [to bus driver] You expect me to pay to ride this filthy machine? Have you the brain worms?!

Zim: [to cab driver] You think I wont be ready, but you're wrong, presumptuous cab beast! I have prepared myself for this moment and it has paid off in full! You see, the Invaders learn from their mistakes, however rare they may be! Now human, take me to [thinks for a moment then points in a random direction] that way, and quickly! In case you haven't noticed, I've been trying to go home!

Zim: [to Tak] I have come to accept your feelings for me thereby choosing me as your 'love-pig'..... FEEL HONORED! Prepare yourself, filthy beast of meat and hair. Your magical love adventure begins NOW!

Zim: [zooms in on single germ] HAH! [jumps over to germ and starts to spray vigorously with Germ Spray]
Germ: [starts to choke and gag on Germ Spray]
Zim: [continues to spray germ]
Germ: [in extremely high-pitched voice] WHYYYYYYY?!? [falls over dead]
Zim: [sprays the germ again]

Zim: And then, THEN, Dib says, "RAR!" in front of the whole class! Filthy slug. Mrs. Bitters called on ME, understand? Filthy squirmy Dib! SQUIRMY!
Kid: What are you talking about? Who are you?
Zim: I can't believe the things that H-H-HUMAN has done to me. ME! [makes angry noises] DIB! [more angry noises]
Kid: Why are you following me? I don't even go to your school!
Zim: And the- OH! He makes me so mad! The horrible puny brain meat child. With his little glasses and his [angry noises] HEAD!
Kid: [runs into house and shuts door]
Zim: My name is Dib with my pointy hair. POINTY HAIR! I eat food and have stuff!

Zim: Be alert GIR. On this planet, we are surrounded by danger and MADNESS!
GIR: Ooh, I like madness!

Zim: Behold! A hunter destroyer-
GIR: What is it?
Zim: A hunter destroy-
GIR: What is it?!?
Zim: ...A hunter destroyer machine.

Zim: But I chose this particular worm hole especially for the occasion. You see, at the end of this wormhole lies: A ROOM with a MOOSE!!
Dib: AAAAAHHHH- Wait a minute! Did you say, a room with a moose?
Zim: Yes. Your fear is overwhelming, no?
Dib: Um...no. What's so scary about a room with a stupid moose? I mean, yeah, that's a big moose, but really-
Zim: Oh, you'll see. PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!
Dib: Nuh-uh!
[Zim launches walnuts into wormhole]
Dib: Are those walnuts?
Zim: Yes.
GIR: My walnuts!

Zim: By using these pieces of scrap metal, I shall fashion a compass, using this planet's own magnetic field against it. Now! Witness the power of my compass!
[The compass magnetically attaches itself to GIR's chest]
GIR: Awww, it likes me!
GIR : [Reads logo off bus] What...about...the bus?

Zim: Bye Dib! Thanks for the information! I got a few more lawn gnomes to plant.
[A shadow form appears behind Dib,somehow transforms into Ms.Bitters]

Zim: Come my filthy stink children. You shall reveal your secrets to Pustulio in the privacy of the classroom.

Zim: Computer! Give me all the information you have on the FBI.
Computer: The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Zim: Continue.
Computer: Insufficient data.
Zim: Insufficient data! Can't you just make an educated guess?
Computer: Okaaaaaay...uh...founded in 1492 by, uh...demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to...uh, I dunno, fight...aliens?
Zim: I knew it! This is baaaad! This is so baaaad!

Zim: Curse you, snacks! CURSE YOOOOUUUU!

Zim: Don't come any closer! Don't try anything on me or I'll...I'll...I'll lay eggs in your stomach! I mean it!

Zim: Germs, chewing on my squeedly-spooch. Not my squeedly-spooch you don't!