Dib: Don't you care that Zim is trying to destroy all mankind? Huh?
Gaz: But he's so bad at it.

Dib:[hypnotized] I will tell Pustulio everything...[snaps out of it] Nyahh! No! Must... keep... control! [gets hypnotized again] Pustulio is my friend... [snaps out of it again] It's a pimple! Nothing more than a-! Nyahh! I... I... [gets hypnotized yet again] I... love Pustulio...
Zim: And Pustulio loves you, too. Release him, Smacky. He is part of the collective now.
[Smacky lets go of Dib]
Zim: Now. Tell me... tell me the flaw in my house's defenses.
Dib: [struggles internally] But... I can't... must infiltrate!
Zim: It would make Pustulio happy to know this thing. Don't you WANT-[pushes Pustulio around to increase hypnotic power]-to make Pustulio happy?
Dib: Yes... no!
Zim: [raises eyebrow] If you tell me, I'll let you hold Pustulio's little hand. [holds up one of Pustulio's hands for Dib to see]
Dib: [talking against will] The weakness... is simple... a blind spot... [cringes] in your gnome field. Nothing to stop me from simply tunneling under house... [cringes again] and attach a spy monitoring system.
[a pause, then Zim begins laughing maniacally]
Zim: Success!

Delouser: Level 1 infestation, ma'am.
Countess von Verminstrassor: A level 1... I am Countess von Verminstrassor, the Delouser! For your own good, you will cooperate! You have lice, and until your condition improves, you will be detained here indefinitely!
Dib: You can't really make us stay here...
Countess von Verminstrassor: You dare question me, question my methods?!? You, who stands to benefit the most from my work?!? You disgust me!
Ms. Bitters: What a nice lady.
Dib: All I said was-
Countess von Verminstrassor: Silence! Let the delousing begin!

Administration Droid: Do not be alarmed. The student president has experienced a failure in spirit. A new election will be held immediately. Volunteers? Volunteer?
Zim: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick Zim! Zim is me! Zim is me! Zim shall rule! Pick Zim! Zim! Me! I am Zim!
Administration Droid: Zim. Analysis: moron. Suitable. Candidate 2 needed. Volunteers?
Dib: But Zim's criminally insane! That's not good!
Administration Droid: Dib. Analysis: annoying.
[The droid slams a muzzle around Dib's head]
Zim:Egggh,lies

Dib: [surprised] You...you believe me? Wait a minute, you were in some hideous government experiment where they hit you in the head with car doors right?
Dwicky: [looking at a picture of himself tied up in an alligator's mouth] Ha ha, almost, but no! I really do believe you!

Blue-eyed Alien: But enough philosophy.
Zim: But we haven't been talking about-
Blue-eyed Alien: Let the hideous experiments begin!

Bloaty's Mascots: Doo dee doo dee doo! Doo dee doo dee doo! Doo dee doo dee doo!

Coach. Walrus: I have shown you the horrors of war...the devastation of famine...pictures of my birth! But I don't think you comprehend what awaits you in adult life. To better prepare you for the inevitable character building horrors, we will now play bludgeon-ball! It's fun!

Anchorman: Experts are still baffled over the origins of "Ultra-Peepi," the giant, mutant hamster now ravaging the city, but they all agree he's just fuzzy-wuzzy adorable, isn't he? He sure is!
[On the screen behind the anchorman, Ultra Peepi is seen about to stomp on the news station. His foot comes crashing through the ceiling, crushing the Anchorman]

Desmond Flapp: You're the one we've been waiting for! The one foretold in the prophecies, told by... Frank!
Frank: Yup. Told you he'd come.

Customer: [angrily, with a bowl of coleslaw right in front of him] I want my slaw!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Customer: [angrily] I want my slaw!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Customer: [angrily] I want my slaw!!!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.

Dib: (thinking to himself) Maybe my head is big...

Announcer: Are you still playing with your old obsolete Game Slave 1? Why? What's wrong with you? Have we offended you somehow?! Huh? Huh? Huuuh?!

Dib: [in Zim's thought bubble] See you AND your parents tonight, Zim! And by the way, it's not called "Parent Teacher Night." It's called Zim Doom...Doom Zim...Zimmy...Doom night. [chortles] Watch out for that puppy.
[Zim trips over the puppy]

Blue-eyed Alien: Are we talkin' 'bout the same juuuice??