Invader Zim quotes

263 total quotes



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Ms. Bitters: Zim!
Zim: [saluting] Sir!
Ms. Bitters: There's a pigeon on your head. You've got head pigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children!
Zim: Yes, Ms. Bitters.
[Zim walks towards the door]
Ms. Bitters: No leaving class without a hall pass, Zim.
Zim: Of course...
[Zim walks to Ms. Bitters' desk. She puts a collar around his head. It shrinks around his neck]
Ms. Bitters: If you leave skool grounds, it will explode.

Ms. Bitters: Zim, the machine says that the only career you are suitable for is-
Zim: Yes, yes! Lord of humans! I will rule you all with an iron fist!
Ms. Bitters: No, Zim. The machine has assigned you a career in fast food preparation.
Zim: Then I will prepare food with my iron fist! Then I will work my way up to ruling you all with my fist! [to Melvin] You! [shakes fist in Melvin's face] Obey the fist!

Ms.Bitters: Class, today's horrible lesson is about something horrible. Open your horrible textbooks to page 2038.

Mutant: Pweeeease? For the childwen!
Mr. Grout: [voice only] We'll buy your candy! We'll buy your candy!

Nik: Look at that, binary system. That's a pair of stars orbiting around each other. You ever been to a binary system?
Oog-ah: No.
Nik: Would it kill you to say something?
Oog-ah: Quiet or I'll eat your head. Is that enough words for you?

Police Radio: Be on the look out for a giant mobile home rampaging through the downtown area.
Cop 1: Can mobile homes rampage?
Cop 2: Must be one of them new ones.

Policeman Squid: I want to thank you. That was quite an adventure. The car wreck, the library fight and then, the galactic space battle that happened on the way to this beach.
Zim: Yes, yes, very nice. Now into the ocean with you, where you can tell no one of these things.
Policeman Squid: I'm coming home! [Runs into the water]
GIR: Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! [Happily to Zim] ...he's getting eaten by a shark.

Prof. Membrane: As we all know, every source of energy requires fuel. So, I got to thinking, why has no one invented a power source that needs no fuel? Why?!?!?

Reporter 1: You mean Chickenfoot was a fraud all along?
Dib: This just proves that paranormal studies isn't a bunch of crazies believing in anything! We also disprove the frauds!
Reporter 2: I'll bet this means Bigfoot is a fraud too!
Reporter 1: And UFOs!
Reporter 2: And hobos!
Dib: No wait! Those are real! Except the hobos. Wait, no. They're real. I...I guess. But- what's wrong with you people?!?

Robot Dad: [after his arm blows up] That was my squeezing arm. They took my squeezing arm! WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM?!? AAAAAGGGHHH!!

Robot Mom: Honey is it?
Robot Dad: Yep....Diarrhea "[groans]"

Sgt. Hobo: I'm really looking forward to twisting you into a twisted, horrible knot, made from you.

Sgt. Hobo: Prepare yourselves, you slime-licking smort crabs, to face a series of trials! The finish line is the dreaded fortress of pain! Any mistakes and you will be beamed away, to a losers' holding pen! The holding pen... of pain!
Throbulator: The holding pen is painful?
Sgt. Hobo: Yes!
Throbulator: Does it have to be?!?
Sgt.Hobo: Not really.

Sgt. Shriver: He caught me sleeping during my shift. When you break the rules, Rankle sends you here. Every couple a days, he takes someone away. They never come back. Some say he just lets 'em go. Me? I say he takes them and turn 'em into horrible zombie soldiers in that new zombie lab they just put in out back.

Slab Rankle: Oh, it's not that simple my friend... Slab Rankle is not that easy to pull it over in defeat! Because Slab...and Rankle and, and Slab and... TIME FOR ZOMBIES!