Frasier quotes
105 total quotesNiles: Well, as some illustrious person once said, "Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."
Frasier: You just made that up, didn't you?
Niles: Yes, but I stand by it.
Frasier: You just made that up, didn't you?
Niles: Yes, but I stand by it.
Roz: God, you look like you've been ridden hard and put away wet.
Frasier: Yes, well I was up 'til all hours of the night with Daphne, competing to see which of us has the more pathetic love life. On the bright side, I won.
Frasier: Yes, well I was up 'til all hours of the night with Daphne, competing to see which of us has the more pathetic love life. On the bright side, I won.
(Gil announces that Orsini's is closing.)
Gil: And so tonight a sad adieu to the grande dame of Seattle restaurants.
Roz: (aside to Frasier) I thought he was the grande dame of Seattle restaurants
Gil: And so tonight a sad adieu to the grande dame of Seattle restaurants.
Roz: (aside to Frasier) I thought he was the grande dame of Seattle restaurants
[After Bebe has treated Daphne as a slave, she brings Bebe a snack]
Daphne: Will there be anything else?
Bebe: No, you run along, I'm fine.
Daphne: You're sure now? Because I could wait until you've finished the biscuit and floss your teeth for you!
Daphne: Will there be anything else?
Bebe: No, you run along, I'm fine.
Daphne: You're sure now? Because I could wait until you've finished the biscuit and floss your teeth for you!
[Confronted with Danny again, Niles is having trouble controlling his anger. Frasier takes him in hand]
Niles: I can't go in there and talk to him. If the coward turns his back on me, I'll attack him again!
Frasier: No you won't. You're not a child any more. Now come with me: I'm taking you to the bathroom!
Niles: I can't go in there and talk to him. If the coward turns his back on me, I'll attack him again!
Frasier: No you won't. You're not a child any more. Now come with me: I'm taking you to the bathroom!
[Daphne encourages Frasier to go ice fishing with Martin]
Frasier: So you're suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me absolutely no pleasure at all just to hear the words "I love you"?
Daphne: Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries.
Frasier: So you're suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me absolutely no pleasure at all just to hear the words "I love you"?
Daphne: Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries.
[Daphne explains that the smoke alarm over her bed went off]
Daphne: God, the noise the bloody thing makes! It would be less upsetting just to wake up on fire!
Daphne: God, the noise the bloody thing makes! It would be less upsetting just to wake up on fire!
[Daphne is dressed up for a date, and is testing her perfume when Niles arrives]
Niles: [sniffs around Daphne] Is that "Forbidden"?
Frasier: In every sense of the word!
Niles: [sniffs around Daphne] Is that "Forbidden"?
Frasier: In every sense of the word!
[Daphne is giving Roz's ankle a much-appreciated massage]
Roz: Whatever Frasier's paying you, it's not enough.
Daphne: Actually, I'd need a raise to get me to "not enough".
Roz: Whatever Frasier's paying you, it's not enough.
Daphne: Actually, I'd need a raise to get me to "not enough".
[Despite a shocking revelation about Patterson, Niles is still keen for him to defeat Thorpe]
Niles: Can you tell me, with any certainty, that in such a vast universe there isn't intelligent life on other planets?
Frasier: At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this kitchen.
Niles: Can you tell me, with any certainty, that in such a vast universe there isn't intelligent life on other planets?
Frasier: At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this kitchen.
[During an interview for KACL, the author is asked about the inspiration for his book. Frasier is listening outside]
Fallow: Well, it was actually given to me...by God.
Frasier: By GOD? Do you believe this guy's grandiosity? I'm God, and he knows it!
Fallow: Well, it was actually given to me...by God.
Frasier: By GOD? Do you believe this guy's grandiosity? I'm God, and he knows it!
[Frasier does not approve of Niles buying Maris a car]
Frasier: I happen to think that bribery is the wrong way for couples to resolve their conflicts.
Niles: And during which of your failed marriages did you hone that theory?
Frasier: I happen to think that bribery is the wrong way for couples to resolve their conflicts.
Niles: And during which of your failed marriages did you hone that theory?
[Frasier has an idea for how to take Martin's mind away from the murder case: the basketball game]
Frasier: It's the archetypal male bonding ritual.
Niles: Couldn't we just go to the woods, kill something and have done with it?
Frasier: It's the archetypal male bonding ritual.
Niles: Couldn't we just go to the woods, kill something and have done with it?
[Frasier has declined to make a personal appearance at a hospital.]
Roz: What? You're turning down a hospital?
Frasier: Don't look at me that way.
Roz: Hey, I'm with you. I hate the way those whiny sick people are always nagging you for things. "I want a magazine!" "I want a kidney!"
Roz: What? You're turning down a hospital?
Frasier: Don't look at me that way.
Roz: Hey, I'm with you. I hate the way those whiny sick people are always nagging you for things. "I want a magazine!" "I want a kidney!"
[Frasier is angry with Lilith for interrupting his time with Madeline]
Frasier: My God, woman, I'd drive a stake through your heart but I don't think anything could kill you!
Frasier: My God, woman, I'd drive a stake through your heart but I don't think anything could kill you!