Frasier quotes
105 total quotesDaphne: [about drawer-dividers for socks] I saw them once in a catalogue, but I couldn't imagine who in the world would buy such silly things. Course, I hadn't met Dr. Crane yet.
Martin: I used to think there'd been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. Of course, when Niles came along, it shot that theory all to hell.
Martin: I used to think there'd been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. Of course, when Niles came along, it shot that theory all to hell.
Daphne: I had a mole removed.
Niles: Where?
Daphne: Just south of Manchester.
Niles: I meant, where on your body?
Daphne: So did I.
Niles: Where?
Daphne: Just south of Manchester.
Niles: I meant, where on your body?
Daphne: So did I.
Daphne: It makes me glad we don't have so many guns in England.
Frasier: You don't need guns: you got kidney pie.
Frasier: You don't need guns: you got kidney pie.
Frasier: All right, stop it! Get a grip. You're not being asked to do anything that none of us hasn't done before in our own kitchens in our own homes! Now quick, Niles, kill five eels!
Niles: Wait, wait! What?
Frasier: I'm serious! Every restaurant critic in Seattle is out there and they all want anguille, so start killing eels!
Niles: Wait, wait. How do you suggest I do that?
Frasier: How do I know? You're the chef. Throw a toaster in the damn tank for all I care!
Niles: Wait, wait! What?
Frasier: I'm serious! Every restaurant critic in Seattle is out there and they all want anguille, so start killing eels!
Niles: Wait, wait. How do you suggest I do that?
Frasier: How do I know? You're the chef. Throw a toaster in the damn tank for all I care!
Frasier: Good afternoon, Seattle. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780. Well, it's another gray, depressing day here in the Emerald City. Here's hoping we can brighten up your afternoon. We hold it our personal duty to banish your rainy day blues. But first, a message from a new sponsor. [reads] "Death is inevitable"...
Frasier: I'm a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan.
Frasier: There's nothing wrong with Maris that wouldn't be cured by a little sun, some exercise and a personality.
Frasier: You know how hard it is to lie to someone's face.
Roz: Oh, no, it's easy for someone as bright and charming and articulate as you.
Frasier: Well, then, perhaps you're right.
Roz: See how easy it is.
Roz: Oh, no, it's easy for someone as bright and charming and articulate as you.
Frasier: Well, then, perhaps you're right.
Roz: See how easy it is.
Martin: Boy, you and Niles. It's been the same since you were kids. If one of you has something, the other one always has to have it, too. I had to buy two Balinese lutes, two découpage kits, two pairs of lederhosen. When you finally moved out of the house, that was one embarrassing garage sale.
Martin: Oh, for God's sake, Eddie, don't drink out of the toilet! Some guy just had his head in there!
Martin: One minute it's just a blob in some lady's stomach, the next minute it's a person. Blob... Person.
Frasier: The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.
Frasier: The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.
Martin: Seattle's a big city. I'm sure there's a bunch of German fencing instructors, each one with dozens of students.
Frasier: Yes, but are they wealthy students?
Martin: [sarcastically] No, they're inner-city kids trying to work their way out of the ghetto with nothing but a foil and a dream.
Frasier: Yes, but are they wealthy students?
Martin: [sarcastically] No, they're inner-city kids trying to work their way out of the ghetto with nothing but a foil and a dream.
Niles: [to Frasier] You unprincipled charlatan! You unconscionable fraud! [turns] Happy birthday, Dad.
Niles: How much firepower do you suppose is necessary to embed a cherry in an acoustic ceiling tile?
Frasier: Another question we should have asked ourselves before we entered the exiting world of food service.
Frasier: Another question we should have asked ourselves before we entered the exiting world of food service.
Niles: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent, while my eminence was merely... imminent.