Boston Legal quotes
442 total quotesDenny: Welcome, to Boston Legal.
Claire: Jeffrey, the gross man is fondling me.
Denny: It's the official firm greeting.
[squeezes Claire's butt]
Denny: Cue the music.
Claire: Jeffrey, the gross man is fondling me.
Denny: It's the official firm greeting.
[squeezes Claire's butt]
Denny: Cue the music.
Denny: Well. Shall we pick up where we left off, my little friend?
Bethany: Forget it.
Denny: Why?
Bethany: Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life is, 'don't date guys who slept with my mother.'
Bethany: Forget it.
Denny: Why?
Bethany: Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life is, 'don't date guys who slept with my mother.'
Denny: What are you looking for? Serious relationship?
Alan: Don't be silly... I'm already involved with you.
Denny: You're damn right!
Alan: Don't be silly... I'm already involved with you.
Denny: You're damn right!
Denny: When is the trial?
Alan: Next Tuesday.
Denny: Really? What time?
Alan: 10.
Alan: Next Tuesday.
Denny: Really? What time?
Alan: 10.
Denny: You can change one thing, what is it?
Alan: I'd get rid of stores that end in Mart.
Alan: I'd get rid of stores that end in Mart.
Denny: You know the old joke, Alan? Man shows up at the Pearly Gates, sees this guy in a pin stripe suit, and a briefcase, a cigar, prancing about. He says to Saint Peter, 'who's that guy?' Saint Peter says 'ahhh, that's just God. Thinks he's Denny Crane.'
Alan: Denny, what would you do if you actually met God one day?
Denny: I'd probably take him fishing.
Alan: Indeed.
Denny: He'd probably want to wrestle me for Shirley.
Alan: Indeed again.
Alan: Denny, what would you do if you actually met God one day?
Denny: I'd probably take him fishing.
Alan: Indeed.
Denny: He'd probably want to wrestle me for Shirley.
Alan: Indeed again.
Denny: You people have an overreacting problem, you do know that?
Lawyer: [offended] "We people?"
Denny: Yeah, same thing in Lebanon. They grab a few soldiers, you respond with overkill. And that's a problem.
Bethany: Are you saying Israel doesn't have the right to defend itself?
Denny: Well, of course, they do! But you can't blow up a country just because you get mad! Only the United States enjoys that privilege. We're a superpower; God is on our side.
Lawyer: [offended] "We people?"
Denny: Yeah, same thing in Lebanon. They grab a few soldiers, you respond with overkill. And that's a problem.
Bethany: Are you saying Israel doesn't have the right to defend itself?
Denny: Well, of course, they do! But you can't blow up a country just because you get mad! Only the United States enjoys that privilege. We're a superpower; God is on our side.
Denny: You want a war? You get a war.
Bethany: You fat old man.
Denny: Bring it on, small fry!
Bethany: You fat old man.
Denny: Bring it on, small fry!
Denny: [after breaking up with Bella] I didn't have to shoot her!
[Shirley and Denny high-five each other]
[Shirley and Denny high-five each other]
Denny: Alan, you've got to help me dump Bella. I'm not good when it comes to breaking up with women; I'm too soft.
Alan: Denny, you shoot people.
Denny: I thought of that, but it would be illegal. Except in Florida.
Alan: Denny, you shoot people.
Denny: I thought of that, but it would be illegal. Except in Florida.
Denny: I'll let you play with my gun.
Shirley: Your gun goes off too prematurely for me, Denny. It always has.
Shirley: Your gun goes off too prematurely for me, Denny. It always has.
Denny: Objection!
Judge Sanders: Overruled!
Denny: Objection!
Judge Sanders: Sustained!
Judge Sanders: Overruled!
Denny: Objection!
Judge Sanders: Sustained!
Detective Spindle: What's the infield fly rule?
Lincoln: I haven't the slightest. Does it involve a zipper?
Denny: [to Claire] I bet he's more familiar with a zipper than he is with baseball.
Claire: [deadpan] Really?
Lincoln: I haven't the slightest. Does it involve a zipper?
Denny: [to Claire] I bet he's more familiar with a zipper than he is with baseball.
Claire: [deadpan] Really?
Douglas Karnes: Christians believe that Jesus will come again. Are they all nuts?
Alan: Most.
Alan: Most.
Frank: Knowing you, you'd probably plan to get up in the end and deliver some stirring closing like cannibalism is good, the world needs more people devouring each other.
Alan: No, we already have enough of that.
Alan: No, we already have enough of that.