Denny: I might vote for him, you know.
Alan: (surprised) Obama?
Denny: Anybody in America can grow up to be President, that's what I say. Except for Hillary! She wins, I puke.
Alan: Barack Obama.
Denny: Handsome, great photo op. I don't know what he stands for... He'd be a perfect president! Speaks perfect ��white' as well as ��black.' Never heard me say that.
Alan: What about McCain.
Denny: He speaks ��Bush' now. Can't win.
Alan: Obama's against the war now, you know.
Denny: So'm I. (Alan looks questioningly) Don't worry. I'm ready for a new war. Time to blow up Iran. And we gotta get Amina.... douche-bag. And that nut job in North Korea. They both gotta go. And not because they're not white!
Denny: Of course it does, Alan... you can't please every body. Better to just...
Alan: Blow them up.
Denny: Exactly. And not because they're not white.
Alan: No.

Denny: I must admit that the idea of a mother-daughter ménage à twaddle.
Alan: I think you mean trois.

Denny: I'll have that jury eating out of my lap.
Alan: Hand.

Denny: It's gonna get ugly, Shirley.
Shirley: Denny Crane ugly.
Denny: Hmm-mm.

Denny: Let the games begin, small fry.

Denny: My murder case went away. You've still got yours. It just doesn't seem fair.
Alan: Nutty Lincoln didn't whack the judge?

Denny: Now, don't go knocking fat chicks! I love chubby-sex. [looks over at the female judge] I'm sure Your Honor does.

Denny: Objection. Your Honor, she's being...objectionable!
Judge: Sustained.

Denny: Oh please. If there were new guys they would have shown up in the season premiere.

Denny: One meeting.
Bethany: In these offices. I'll call it even.
Denny: Not quite. One condition. Take off your clothes.
Bethany: What!
Denny: Oh come on. That was the initial plan. We hit it off, eventually we get together, naked. Take off your clothes. Let me see that little package.
Bethany: You are the most disgusting, vulgar human being I have ever met.
Denny: You're right... Just the top then?

Denny: A meeting? Would I have to talk?
Bethany: You're much more impressive when you don't.

Denny: Right on my balcony.
Alan: It is not what you think.
Denny: I saw you. I heard you.
Alan: We were just talking.
[Denny storms from the room]
Alan: Oh dear.

Denny: The dwarf fainted.

Denny: The midget I'm dating could be my daughter.

Denny: They're singling me out because I'm Denny Crane. Big name, big splash. Know where I can get a good lawyer? [grins] It's never dull, Alan. Admit it.

Denny: This country works Alan. You Democrats don't want to admit it. Oh, I'm not saying there aren't kinks! Foam chips off the occasional space craft, we start the odd war on false pretenses, but by and large...America works! That's why I'm completely nuts about it.