Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



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Denny: Here's a little secret. I know things. Don't tell.
Alan: That secret seems unbelievably safe.

Denny: Here's what you need to know about the practice of law. It all comes down to money.

Denny: Hey kid, front and center. I bet you'd lick my shoes for a murder case, wouldn't you?
Garrett: Oh, I would, sir.
Denny: Because I like you, you don't have to lick them. Just dust them with your sleeve.

Denny: Hope you die. Denny Crane.

Denny: I actually begin my dates by putting cash right on the table.
Alan: And that works?
Denny: With the hookers.

Denny: I can't be sure, but in the middle I think I actually felt smoke coming out my ass.

Denny: I have an erection... Let the trial begin. I'm ready.

Denny: I have nothing against marriage. I've done it five times.

Denny: I hear you misplaced a client.
Alan: Not really. Like car keys and sunglasses, he'll show up somewhere.

Denny: I heard about Tara. I feel you're hurt.
Alan: What's most upsetting, Denny, is I don't hurt.
Denny: So I don't have to hug ya and tell ya I'm there for ya and all that crap.
Alan: We can skip it.

Denny: I heard there were two hundred women, that's four hundred breasts, and you kept them all to yourself!

Denny: I misplaced a client once.
Alan: Did they ever find him?
Denny: No, I made sure to ship him off to some country with no extradition. Practically a deserted island off the coast of South America. He sends me Feliz Cumpleanos cards every year.
Alan: That's thoughtful. Sounds like paradise actually. Living on an island. A much simpler life.
Denny: Especially if it's an island where the natives run around the beach with their boobies hanging out.

Denny: I prefer to be alone. Please leave.
Alan: Why?
Denny: No reason.
Alan: If you were to guess at a reason?
Denny: If I were to guess, I'd say maybe I don't want to socialize with a pinko liberal Democrat commie.
Alan: Ahh.

Denny: I still am Denny Crane.

Denny: I wish I was never great...because I remember.