Becker quotes
235 total quotesDr. John Becker: My car broke down, so I had to take the bus. Have you done that lately? It's like being in an ethanol-powered Fellini film. The first thing I see is some woman breastfeeding her son- her ADULT son. Behind them is someone in this lovely Chanel evening gown who's either an unattractive man or really unattractive woman. The only seat I could find was next to some guy who claims he's Moses. He may well have been, too. He smelled like some guy who'd been dead for 3,000 years.
Dr. John Becker: Of all the things we needed around here, another Linda was not one of them.
Dr. John Becker: On my way to work, some guy in a full New York Jets uniform stops me, tells me it's fourth and long, asks me if I know what the play is. I told him, "Run to the river and go deep."
Dr. John Becker: Psychology, yeah, right. How hard can it be? "Hi. You hate your mother. That'll be a hundred bucks."
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: As opposed to, "Get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids, that'll be a hundred-fifty?"
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: As opposed to, "Get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids, that'll be a hundred-fifty?"
Dr. John Becker: Scrabble with Jake?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: What, you think we're taking advantage of him?
Dr. John Becker: No, I think he's taking advantage of you. He played in the National Championships like, three different times.
Bob: Excuse me?!
Jake Malinak: Well, I only won once.
Bob: Jake, you hustled us!
Dr. John Becker: Well, now technically, it's not hustling unless you were dumb enough to play for money.
Bob: I thought it was a sure thing! He's blind! I mean, the man's been throwing fish food in his toilet for the last five years!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: What, you think we're taking advantage of him?
Dr. John Becker: No, I think he's taking advantage of you. He played in the National Championships like, three different times.
Bob: Excuse me?!
Jake Malinak: Well, I only won once.
Bob: Jake, you hustled us!
Dr. John Becker: Well, now technically, it's not hustling unless you were dumb enough to play for money.
Bob: I thought it was a sure thing! He's blind! I mean, the man's been throwing fish food in his toilet for the last five years!
Dr. John Becker: So, how are you feeling?
Patient: Good. But that's the problem. I read this article about people who can't feel pain, and I've been feeling fine lately. So, that got me thinking: what if I'm one of those people? I mean, I could be in excruciating pain right now and not even know it.
Dr. John Becker: Walter, that condition's called hyposensitivity, and I seriously doubt if you have it.
Patient: Well, I'd like to know for sure. Isn't there some kind of test you can run?
Dr. John Becker: (hits him with a reflex hammer, to which he yells in pain)
Patient: Good. But that's the problem. I read this article about people who can't feel pain, and I've been feeling fine lately. So, that got me thinking: what if I'm one of those people? I mean, I could be in excruciating pain right now and not even know it.
Dr. John Becker: Walter, that condition's called hyposensitivity, and I seriously doubt if you have it.
Patient: Well, I'd like to know for sure. Isn't there some kind of test you can run?
Dr. John Becker: (hits him with a reflex hammer, to which he yells in pain)
Dr. John Becker: So, where's the problem?
Patient: See this thing on the back of my neck? It's like this all over. Between my breasts, my thighs. Do you want me take my clothes off?
Dr. John Becker: Hold it, hold it. We'll just work our way down. No, I mean, take our time. Take this-- no.
Patient: See this thing on the back of my neck? It's like this all over. Between my breasts, my thighs. Do you want me take my clothes off?
Dr. John Becker: Hold it, hold it. We'll just work our way down. No, I mean, take our time. Take this-- no.
Dr. John Becker: There's only one reasons to run: if you're being chased, or if you're on fire.
Dr. John Becker: This is incredible. It's from the lab. They made a mistake on Mr. Garland's test results. He's fine.
Margaret: (reads the report) Oh, my god, John. You told the man he was dying!
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, well he's not. I gotta get him on the phone here. I can't believe the lab screwed up like that.
Linda: Yeah, well he's not the only one that's happened to. I sent the film for my vacation to the lab and they totally lost it.
Dr. John Becker: Different lab, Linda!
Linda: All's I'm saying the guy's got the rest of his life to look forward to. I spent a week in Bermuda and have no idea what I did.
Margaret: (reads the report) Oh, my god, John. You told the man he was dying!
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, well he's not. I gotta get him on the phone here. I can't believe the lab screwed up like that.
Linda: Yeah, well he's not the only one that's happened to. I sent the film for my vacation to the lab and they totally lost it.
Dr. John Becker: Different lab, Linda!
Linda: All's I'm saying the guy's got the rest of his life to look forward to. I spent a week in Bermuda and have no idea what I did.
Dr. John Becker: Well, all the really classy places have lobsters in a tank. I guess rats in a box could catch on.
Dr. John Becker: What happened?
Theresa: Jimmy hit Sean with his hockey stick and cut his cheek.
Dr. John Becker: Don't you kids ever do this kind of stuff on weekends?
Theresa: Jimmy hit Sean with his hockey stick and cut his cheek.
Dr. John Becker: Don't you kids ever do this kind of stuff on weekends?
Dr. John Becker: What is this, National Sex Day? I got a woman doing it in a parked car. This clown wants Viagra. Everybody I see this morning has sex on the brain.
Dr. John Becker: Where have you been? I'm out here talking to myself.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Well, it must be nice to have someone to agree with you for a change.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Well, it must be nice to have someone to agree with you for a change.