Becker quotes
235 total quotesBecker: [on religion] Religion is supposed to be about people being nice to each other, but frankly, I don't see a lot of that. You know, what I do see is people using the Good Book to say that they're morally superior. I see people building TV stations to bilk Grandma out of her pension cheques, all in the name of God, you know. And how about all those God-fearing people who are killing other God-fearing people because they don't fear God in the same way!?
Becker: Valentine's Day: the shallowest, greediest exploitation of emotion since my second marriage!
Becker: What's the matter with you people? I didn't kill that guy.
Bob: [coming out of phone booth] Hey, Becker, you know that guy you killed? I just got his job.
Becker: I didn't kill anybody, Bob! What'd you just say?
Bob: I'm your new super.
Becker: But Alexei just died this morning. How could you even know about the job?
Bob: I owe it all to Linda.
Becker: Linda helped you? My Linda?
Bob: If, by "help", you mean left your office as soon as she heard the old super croaked, ran to your building, gave them my resume--which, by the way, she wrote--acted as a reference, and wouldn't leave until they agreed to hire me, then, yeah, she helped!
Becker: But you don't know anything about being a super!
Bob: What's to know? Jake can do it, for crying out loud!
Jake: Hey!
Bob: Not to mention it's the deal of a lifetime--good salary, free apartment, and I get to sit on my ass all day and pretend I don't speak English. It's what I was born to do!
Becker: This can't be happening.
Bob: Don't worry. Whatever you need, day or night, my door is always open, and thanks to my new passkey, so is yours.
Reggie: Jake, do you realize what this means?
Jake: Yeah, Bob has someplace else to go.
Bob: [coming out of phone booth] Hey, Becker, you know that guy you killed? I just got his job.
Becker: I didn't kill anybody, Bob! What'd you just say?
Bob: I'm your new super.
Becker: But Alexei just died this morning. How could you even know about the job?
Bob: I owe it all to Linda.
Becker: Linda helped you? My Linda?
Bob: If, by "help", you mean left your office as soon as she heard the old super croaked, ran to your building, gave them my resume--which, by the way, she wrote--acted as a reference, and wouldn't leave until they agreed to hire me, then, yeah, she helped!
Becker: But you don't know anything about being a super!
Bob: What's to know? Jake can do it, for crying out loud!
Jake: Hey!
Bob: Not to mention it's the deal of a lifetime--good salary, free apartment, and I get to sit on my ass all day and pretend I don't speak English. It's what I was born to do!
Becker: This can't be happening.
Bob: Don't worry. Whatever you need, day or night, my door is always open, and thanks to my new passkey, so is yours.
Reggie: Jake, do you realize what this means?
Jake: Yeah, Bob has someplace else to go.
Annette Johnson: You just may go to Heaven whether you like it or not.
Dr. John Becker: Thanks. It's the first time someone suggested I go in that direction.
Dr. John Becker: Thanks. It's the first time someone suggested I go in that direction.
Becker: [honking at the car in front] Come on, come on! If you're gonna drive that slow, you shouldn't be on the road!
Margaret: John, it's a hearse.
Becker: Just because it's too late for him doesn't mean he has to ruin it for the rest of us.
Margaret: John, it's a hearse.
Becker: Just because it's too late for him doesn't mean he has to ruin it for the rest of us.
Becker: You know how it is when you're married; you have those cute little nicknames for each other.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: So what's your name for her?
Becker: "Castrating bitch from Hell"!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: So what's your name for her?
Becker: "Castrating bitch from Hell"!
Becker: Look partner, she's gonna be fine! Why don't you just call your office? Maybe there's someone who missed getting screwed today!
Lawyer: I really resent that!
Becker: Well then my work is done!
Sandra: And you said I wasn't fair to you.
Becker: Oh come on, that don't count, he's a lawyer. I actually look forward to the day we can hunt them!
Lawyer: I really resent that!
Becker: Well then my work is done!
Sandra: And you said I wasn't fair to you.
Becker: Oh come on, that don't count, he's a lawyer. I actually look forward to the day we can hunt them!
Becker: Have you ever been robbed?
Margaret: Oh please, I have lived in New York my whole life. I was held up on Prom Night...by my date!
Margaret: Oh please, I have lived in New York my whole life. I was held up on Prom Night...by my date!
Becker: I'd love to set you straight, but I gotta go heal the sick!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Do you really heal the sick or do you just harangue the disease out of the person like an exorcism?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Do you really heal the sick or do you just harangue the disease out of the person like an exorcism?
Becker: Ah hell, there's that damn meter maid! HEY GRANDMA, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY CAR! WHY AREN'T YOU OUT STEALING KETCHUP PACKETS LIKE NORMAL OLD WOMEN!?
Becker: Why is it the good patients always die and the pain-in-the-asses go on and on?
Margaret: Yeah, why is that?
Margaret: Yeah, why is that?
Dr. John Becker: You know what's killing this country? TV talk shows. I watched one last night. I should've just stuck a fork in my eye. You know, it's like America stepped in something and is scraping it off its shoe directly over my TV set. I'm telling you. Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, they're all broadcasting straight from Hell! When I watched one the other day... I don't even know what the hell it was. Apparently, some guy wanted to be a woman, so he chops it off. Then he decides he likes chicks after all, so he becomes a lesbian. Tell me there's not a wasted step in there somewhere.
Becker: You gotta accept it, Jake; as soon as you get involved with a woman, it's only a matter of time before you're the next contestant on "Guess Why I'm Mad".
Jake: Yeah, that's on right before "All I Do For You And This Is The Thanks I Get".
Season 2
Jake: Yeah, that's on right before "All I Do For You And This Is The Thanks I Get".
Season 2