Beavis: Dammit. I wish they'd show those bees again. Bees kick ass. [imitates bees humming] Nyayayayaya!! Bees rule!

Beavis: Didn't these guys play at the state fair last year?
Butt-head: Yeah. They won a blue ribbon in the pig contest.
Beavis: Eh heh heh, yeah, heh heh. Because he's fat!

Beavis: DO NOT MAKE MY BUNGHOLE ANGRY!

Beavis: Doggy-dog is in the motherf-ing houuuse.

Beavis: Don't wanna fall in mud!
Butt-head: All I wanna do is sell my blood!
Beavis: What do you think they pay for like a gallon of blood?
Butt-head: Just be cool Dude! Don't take their first offer!
Beavis: How they do like get it out Dude?
Butt-head: They give you a big knife, then you cut your hand and like bleed in the bucket. Huh, Huh
Beavis: Hea hea, that's cool!
Butt-head: They give you a big old bottle of 'Mad Dog 20/20' to drink first. Huh, Huh
Beavis: High Test!
Butt-head: And then, when you're done. Don't forget to stand up realy fast.
Beavis: Hmmhhh
Butt-head: If you're lucky you'll pass out!
Beavis: Cool!

Beavis: Er,you like animals ?
Woman: What ? What ? Just a minute. Shut up ! Shut up or I have to put your slipe! Now, what did you want ?
Butt-Head: Er never mind ! Huh Huh
[ On the way to the next door]

Beavis: Getting kicked in the nads by a cow sucks!
Butt-head: Uh, That's not a real cow, dude. That's like a deer.
Beavis: How did you know?

Beavis: Have you looked in the garbage can?
Stewart's Mom: [crying] Oh no, you...
Butt-head: Beavis, you dumbass, why'd you tell her that? ... Stewart doesn't fit in a garbage can, dumbass, remember? If you wanted to put Stewart in a garbage can, you'd have to like, cut him up into little pieces.

Beavis: Haven't we seen this video before?
Butt-head: Uh...I don't know. It's hard to tell.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I think I've seen a video like this before, where like, the music was all fast and loud, and the guys were like, you know, banging their heads like this.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. I remember that one. It was cool.

Beavis: Hea hea, I barfed on the dog.
Butt-Head: Huh huh, I barfed on you.

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, are they dead?
Butt-head: Uh, I think we got 'em, dude.
[Beavis suddenly starts scratching his scrotum]
Beavis: Um....wait a minute. Dammit. I think I got some more bugs on my nads.
Butt-head: Uh, how'd they get there, Beavis?
Beavis: I don't know. Dammit!
Butt-head: Maybe you should stick your weiner in the bug zapper!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! That's a really good idea, Butt-head! [pulls bug zapper down to his crotch area] Let me just get this down here, here we go... [unzips his pants, and offscreen, follows Butt-head's advice. Electricity crackles and Beavis screams]
Butt-head [chuckling]: Dumbass!

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, change it, come on, this sucks.
Butt-head: Uh, let's just cool out for a minute, Beavis.
Beavis: Ummmmmmmmmm.......

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, check it out, it's Lemmy! And that chick from White Zombie! Yeah!
Butt-head: Uhhh, yeah that is Lemmy.
Beavis: What's he doing in this video?
Butt-head: He's Lemmy. He can walk into any damn video he wants!
Beavis: Oh yeah, that's probably because he rules! Hey look, Butt-head, someone's hassling your Uncle Jack!
Butt-head: Yeah, he's not supposed to be in a bar!
Beavis: Oh yeah, he always gets all drunk and gets in a fight! And then calls up!
Butt-head: Yeah, he says: [disoriented] "Uhhhhhh hey Butt-head, bluuh, you think you could come down here? Uh huh huh huh."
Beavis: Yeah! Next time he does that, we should go.
Rancid, Nihilism

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, check it out. That chick on the drums, that's that chick that's at games holding up that sign.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. It's like it says John on it, then it has his phone number.
Beavis: Oh yeah. We should call him up and say "Hey man, know where any parties are at?"
Butt-head: Yeah, and then hang up on him. That would be cool.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. That'd teach him a lesson.

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, check this out. [sings in a fake Mexican accent] Let us put the man and woman together and find out which one is smarter...that was cool