Butt-head: Hey, that looks like that dude...uhh, he was on TV, and then they made cartoon out of him.
Beavis: Oh yeah. He's got that shirt, and then his hair's all in a point on the top of his head. Yeah, what's his name?
Butt-head: Uhh...yeah, what is his name?
Beavis: Dammit...he's always going, "I must say,"
Butt-head: And then he's always saying he's gonna be on Wheel of Fortune, and he's, like, all into Pat Sajak. Uhh, Wigley? Smegley?
Beavis: No, no. Dammit. What's his name? Dammit! This guy looks just like him. Dammit! I'm forgetting everything! I can't remember anything anymore! Hey Butt-head, try smacking me. But just once.
Butt-head: Uhh, sure. [slaps Beavis several times]
Beavis: AHH! OWW!! Um...Ed Grimley!
Butt-head: Oh yeah, that's the dude. I oughta hit you more often, Beavis.
Beavis: You hit me?
Butt-head: Yeah. [Beavis kicks Butt-head in the testicles] AAAAAHHHH!!!
Beavis: Bunghole! Don't ever hit me again!
Railroad Jerk, Rollerkoaster

Butt-head: Hey, that's that dude from Nirvana.
Beavis: Butt-head, I don't think that dude's with us anymore. You shouldn't say that.
Butt-head: I'm talking about the drummer, dumbass.
Beavis: I've never seen that drummer before in my life. That's not him.
Butt-head: No, buttmuch! I'm talking about the drummer from Nirvana is playing guitar here.

Butt-head: Hey, that's that kid from that Losing My Religion video.
Beavis: Yeah, but I thought he got shot with an arrow or something.
Butt-head: Yeah. Dumbass.
Beavis: Yeah, really.

Butt-head: Hey, that's that street where Madonna wanted to have her baby.
Beavis: So what?
Butt-head: Well, then you think of something to say, bunghole! At least I'm trying.
Beavis: Okay, I will think of something to say. Schlong. Poop. Anything's better than that.

Butt-head: Hey, those are like those sunglasses your grandma wears, Beavis.
Beavis: Yeah, it's like, [imitating an old lady] "I'm going out to get some medicine and a carton of smokes. Beavis, honey, go get your grandma her sunglasses, okay?" [coughs]
Butt-head: Yeah. And then you're like, "Get 'em yourself, buttmunch!"
Beavis: Yeah, really. Get 'em yourself!

Butt-head: Hey, we could do that so that we could get bigger thingies.
Beavis: [looks down his shirt] Mine are big enough already. Heh, it's not worth the risk.
Butt-head: Not bigger boobs, dumbass, like we could get bigger wieners.

Butt-head: Hi. I'm your tour guide. Welcome to Wuss Gardens.
Beavis: It was here that George Washington first chopped off his wiener. And then he lied.

Butt-head: His kid's probably like "uh... where's daddy with my birthday presents?" He's drunk at the mall again, flailing around on the escalator.
Beastie Boys, Pass the Mic

Butt-head: His lipstick's on crooked.
Beavis: Yeah, he didn't do a very good job.

Butt-head: His teeth are whiter than white!
Beavis: Yeah, they're "white"!

Butt-head: How come all these dudes have to put an ice cream truck in their video?
Beavis: I don't know. I guess it's like...whoa, whoa, slap him!
Michael Bolton, Everybody's Crazy

Butt-head: How come Donny's the only dude with his shirt on?
Beavis: 'Cause he's a wuss.
Butt-head: He probably has saggy pecs.

Butt-head: How come he keeps singing about these people that he knows? Who gives a rat's ass?
Beavis: Yeah. [sings off-key] I KNOW A GUY!!! HIS HAIR IS ORANGE!!! HE SUCKS!!
The Flaming Lips, Turn It On

Butt-head: How come the Chili Peppers have new guitar player, like, every couple weeks?
Beavis: Well, I think what happens, is, um, like they join the band, and then Flea is just like kickin' ass, and like dancing and Anthony is getting all the chicks, and then like the guitar player is like, "Screw this".
Butt-head: Did you hear that on MTV News? [imitating MTV News theme music] Do-do-do-do-do!
Rick Dees, Get Naked

Butt-head: How come this guy won't look at the camera?
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, come on! Look at the camera!
Butt-head: Yeah! That pisses me off.
Beavis: Yeah! It's like, when you try to get a cat to look at itself in the mirror, and it's like, it won't look at itself, it like, looks up and down and everything, you say LOOK AT YOURSELF! LOOK AT YOURSELF! NOW, NOW! And it's like, it just won't do it.