Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesButt-Head: Hey Beavis, you think she's going to put a thermometer up his butt?
Beavis: Yeah, heheh, and then she's going to put it in his mouth!
Butt-Head: Ugh! What the hell is this crap? This isn't a burrito.
Beavis: Yeah, I got eggs in mine! She tricked us.
Butt-Head: No wonder Stewart's got diarrhea.
Beavis: Yeah, heheh, and then she's going to put it in his mouth!
Butt-Head: Ugh! What the hell is this crap? This isn't a burrito.
Beavis: Yeah, I got eggs in mine! She tricked us.
Butt-Head: No wonder Stewart's got diarrhea.
Butt-head: Hey Beavis. Have you ever had an operation?
Beavis: Yeah, heh heh. I had my tonsils removed.
Butt-head: Woah. That means you were neutered, dude.
Beavis: No way. Really?
Butt-head: Dude, that's what they do when they remove your testicles.
Beavis: Heh...cool.
Beavis: Yeah, heh heh. I had my tonsils removed.
Butt-head: Woah. That means you were neutered, dude.
Beavis: No way. Really?
Butt-head: Dude, that's what they do when they remove your testicles.
Beavis: Heh...cool.
Butt-head: Hey Beavis. I heard if you tip a cow over while it's sleeping, cool stuff happens.
Beavis: Really? Like what?
Butt-head: Uh...it falls over?
Beavis: Cool! We're there, dude!
Beavis: Really? Like what?
Butt-head: Uh...it falls over?
Beavis: Cool! We're there, dude!
Butt-head: Hey Beavis...I got a 'charmed long staff' [turns around, then turns back with dice up his nose]
Butt-head: Hey Beavis.
Beavis: What?
Butt-head: If you eat your own boogers, does that make you, like, one of those "cannibists"?
Beavis: Yeah, it makes you one of those, one of those uh, uh, "cannilbulsists"!
Butt-head: How come boogers don't, like, stink?
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like, they look ugly, so it's like you think they would stink.
Butt-head: Yeah. Actually, I think they look pretty cool!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, me too!
Poison, I Want Action
Beavis: What?
Butt-head: If you eat your own boogers, does that make you, like, one of those "cannibists"?
Beavis: Yeah, it makes you one of those, one of those uh, uh, "cannilbulsists"!
Butt-head: How come boogers don't, like, stink?
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like, they look ugly, so it's like you think they would stink.
Butt-head: Yeah. Actually, I think they look pretty cool!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, me too!
Poison, I Want Action
Butt-head: Hey let's like, draw more people getting killed. That way we can make a total massacre.
Beavis: Yeah, MASSACRE! MASSACRE!
Beavis: Yeah, MASSACRE! MASSACRE!
Butt-head: Hey this is that dude who lost his penis!
Beavis: Yeah! He did that song about how he had a "touchable penis"!
Beavis: Yeah! He did that song about how he had a "touchable penis"!
Butt-head: Hey! Spank your own monkey all you want, but keep your hands off of mine.
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis. I heard if you filled the room up with gas and light a match, all the oxygen disappears and you get a killer buzz!
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis. We could get rich doing this. We need to get more balls.
Beavis: [laughs] You've got to hear what you just said, Butt-head. You said heh, "we need to get more balls."
Butt-head: Huh huh huh, oh yeah.
Beavis: [laughs] You've got to hear what you just said, Butt-head. You said heh, "we need to get more balls."
Butt-head: Huh huh huh, oh yeah.
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis. We're in a hole.
Beavis: Oh, yeah. Hole. [Beavis hits a pipe with his shovel] Hey, Butt-head! Butt-head! I just like, felt something.
Butt-head:[thinking he meant a boner] Uh...okay.
Beavis: Oh, yeah. Wait, no, no. I mean, I felt something, like, with my shovel. Come here, check it out. [He bangs on the pipe with his shovel, and makes a hole in it. Sewage starts coming out] It's oil! It's oil, Butt-head! We've struck oil! It's oil!
Butt-head: Cool! A bubbling crude.
Beavis: Yeah. Oil, that is.
Butt-head: Black gold.
Beavis: Texas tea.
Butt-head:[smelling it] Ugh! Oil smells like turds.
Beavis: Yeah. I bet that's why it's so expensive.
Beavis: Oh, yeah. Hole. [Beavis hits a pipe with his shovel] Hey, Butt-head! Butt-head! I just like, felt something.
Butt-head:[thinking he meant a boner] Uh...okay.
Beavis: Oh, yeah. Wait, no, no. I mean, I felt something, like, with my shovel. Come here, check it out. [He bangs on the pipe with his shovel, and makes a hole in it. Sewage starts coming out] It's oil! It's oil, Butt-head! We've struck oil! It's oil!
Butt-head: Cool! A bubbling crude.
Beavis: Yeah. Oil, that is.
Butt-head: Black gold.
Beavis: Texas tea.
Butt-head:[smelling it] Ugh! Oil smells like turds.
Beavis: Yeah. I bet that's why it's so expensive.
Butt-head: Hey, check it out, it's that dude from Andy of Mayberry.
Beavis: Oh yeah. You mean Barney? [imitates Don Knotts] Well, Andy, I'm gonna go over to Mount Pilot and worship Satan.
Butt-head: That doesn't sound like him, Beavis.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head!
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, I just thought of something. Goober spelled backwards is "booger".
Beavis: Oh yeah. That's cool. So, like, um, what's booger spelled backwards?
Butt-head: Uh, lets see. Uhhh...I dunno.
Beavis: Oh yeah. You mean Barney? [imitates Don Knotts] Well, Andy, I'm gonna go over to Mount Pilot and worship Satan.
Butt-head: That doesn't sound like him, Beavis.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head!
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, I just thought of something. Goober spelled backwards is "booger".
Beavis: Oh yeah. That's cool. So, like, um, what's booger spelled backwards?
Butt-head: Uh, lets see. Uhhh...I dunno.
Butt-head: Hey, is that that dude who's the host on Family Feud?
Beavis: Oh yeah. Survey SAID!!! Pretty good, huh?
Butt-head: Name the place where I usually kick Beavis.
Beavis: Um, nads?
Butt-head: Survey SAID!!! [imitates buzzer] Buuuuhhhhh!!!! I'm sorry, the correct answer was "ass".
Beavis: Damn it.
Butt-head: And I have to kick you there right now. [smacks Beavis]
Beavis: AAHH! Cut it out, butthole! Family Feud sucks.
Butt-head: Yeah, [scoffs] families.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Survey SAID!!! Pretty good, huh?
Butt-head: Name the place where I usually kick Beavis.
Beavis: Um, nads?
Butt-head: Survey SAID!!! [imitates buzzer] Buuuuhhhhh!!!! I'm sorry, the correct answer was "ass".
Beavis: Damn it.
Butt-head: And I have to kick you there right now. [smacks Beavis]
Beavis: AAHH! Cut it out, butthole! Family Feud sucks.
Butt-head: Yeah, [scoffs] families.
Butt-head: Hey, look, it's another one of those heavy metal videos with a naked dude all curled up on the floor.
[the lead singer roars]
[the lead singer roars]