Butt-head: He's smiling at you.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head!

Butt-head: He's trying to hump a rock.
Beavis: Yeah, that would be cool if he like, pulled it down, and it crushed him. Yeah, yeah!

Butt-head: He's trying to look all scary.
Beavis: He's probably gonna go to jail someday.
Butt-head: Well, that was pretty good, I guess.
Beavis: At least it was gruesome.

Butt-Head: Heh heh heh heh, "wood."
Beavis: Heh heh, "boner!"

Butt-head: Here's another one. How do you keep a moron in suspense?
[long pause, Beavis stares intently]

Butt-Head: Hey baby. You got any cavities?

Butt-head: Hey baby... So like how much.
Officer: Fifty
Butt-head: Cool, Beavis, do you have fifty cents?
Cops are listening in on Beavis and Butt-head from a van outside.

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, did you see McVicker? He was like ��uh, uh, uh,' and then Buzzcut made out with him.
Beavis: Yeah, that was cool. We should go to school early tomorrow, you know, in case someone else dies.
Butt-head: Dumbass, [the two begin walking off into the sunset] we're rich; we don't have to go to school ever again.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty damn cool.
Butt-head: Uh huh huh, yeah.
Beavis and Butt-head: [simultaneously, laughing for the last time] Heh heh heh mh heh heh heh... Uh huh huh huh huh huh huh...
[The screen fades out and a title card reads THE END ] Season 8

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, if turds could talk, what would they say?
Beavis: They'd say: "I don't like being a turd! Being a turd sucks!" It's like, you gotta, like, try to swim in the toilet, and then you like, get flushed down, and then you, go through the pipes, and then you go out to the ocean! And then there's like, sharks and stuff!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis! Turds don't drown. They float!
Beavis: Oh yeah, yeah!

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, let's get out of here...
Stewart: Hey, no cutters buddy.
Butt-head: Shut up, Stewart! Come on, Beavis, let's go.
Beavis: Uuuuummm, have we met before, sir?
Butt-head: It's me, you bunghole!
Beavis: Uuuummm, what's a bunghole?
Butt-head: You're a bunghole, bunghole!
Stewart: Hey, Cro magnon, you can't use a word to define one self.
Beavis: Yeah, Cro magnon.
Butt-head: I can too, bunghole. Come on Beavis, let's go...
Beavis: Hey, let go, pervert! We still have to give out Gingerbread Men.
Butt-head: Cut the crap, Beavis; you still owe me a dollar!
Beavis: Help! Help! Who are you!?!

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, my uncle was over here, and he left a six-foot poop in the toilet, and he didn't flush.
Beavis: Really?
Butt-head: You should check it out.
Beavis: Is it still there?
Butt-head: Yeah.
Beavis: Let me go have a look. [exits. Butt-head lies down on the couch.]
Faith No More, Easy

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, while you were fiddling with your wiener, I think he said that Elvis is like, in Joan Rivers.
Beavis: Whoa, really? That'd be cool. [impersonating Joan Rivers] Can we talk? I've got Elvis inside me!
Butt-head: Beavis, that doesn't sound anything like her.
Beavis: Oh. [impersonating Elvis] Thank you very much.

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, who are these guys?
Beavis: Uhhhhh, ummmm, I think they just went on tour with Anthrax and White Zombie.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. They're cool.
Biohazard, Tales From the Hard Side

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, who do you think would win in a fight between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson?
Beavis: Debbie Gibson would kick her butt. She'd kick her!
Butt-head: She should join a gang, like Wilson Phillips.
Beavis: Yeah. Who do you think would win in a fight between Wilson Phillips and The Bangles?
Butt-head: Uh...you're the expert, Beavis.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head!
Butt-head: One chick from L7 alone could kick all of their asses combined.
Toadies, Possum Kingdom

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, you get the one in the middle.
Beavis: Shut up peckerwood! She's yours.