Beavis: Why are all these dudes dressed up in white?
Butt-head: Uhh, I think it's like, they all drive ice-cream trucks.
Beavis: Yeah, that would be cool. Y'know, Like, if instead of that dorky music the ice-cream truck plays, if they played this.
Butt-head: Yeah. And then they'd take the ice-cream and throw it at you and scream.
Beavis: Yeah! And then you just, like drive the ice-cream truck across your lawn and just tear ass, and be like "I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING, BWAAA!!!" That would rule!
Samantha Fox, Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)

Beavis: Why do you think this chick like, dresses up like a slut?
Butt-head: Prince makes sure that all his women look like sluts.
Beavis: Oh, yeah. That's one thing I like about him.
Butt-head: Yeah. He has a vision.
Beavis: Yeah, me too. Someday, all of the girls in the world will come all onto me.
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, Kisses Over Babylon

Beavis: Woah, check it out, someone's getting on a chair, Butt-head. Maybe there's gonna be a hanging.
Butt-head: Uh...it's just someone standing on a chair, Beavis. You automatically think someone's gonna hang themself?
Beavis: Uh, yeah, I guess I'm just uh...WOAH! I just saw a boob, Butt-head. Check it out!
Butt-head: You always think you're seeing a boob like that, it's probably just an elbow or something.
Beavis: No way Butt-head, it was a boob.
Butt-head: Well so what, you only saw it for like a second or something, what's so great about that?
Beavis: Um, a second is better than nothing.
Butt-head: No it isn't. It sucks.
Beavis: Damnit Butt-head, why do you always have to tear down everything good in my life!?
Butt-head: 'Cause your life sucks, Beavis. Your life sucks and nobody likes you.
Beavis: Really? Heh, I don't really give a crap.
Butt-head: [half laughing] You don't have any friends.
Beavis: I have a special little friend. Boi-oi-oing.
Butt-head: Yeah, shut up Beavis. Your special friend probably hates you too.
Beavis: No way Butt-head, you wish.

Beavis: Woah, check it out. He's got a phone on the toilet!
Butt-head: We got to get one of those.
Beavis: Woah, he just touched her boobs!
Butt-head: Yeah. It's a Doggy-Dog World!

Beavis: Woah, check it out. I can't believe she's talking to Snoop that way.
Butt-head: Yeah. If that wasn't his mom, he'd be putting the smackdown.
Beavis: Yeah, really.

Beavis: Woah. Is she Chinese?
Butt-head: I think that's that Connie Schlong chick that called the president's mom a bitch on TV.

Beavis: Wow, this is really cool. Okay, let me do it now. You think of something.
Butt-head: Okay.
Beavis: Um...are you thinking about...is it some flies?
Butt-head: No.
Beavis: Is it a suitcase of some kind?
Butt-head: No.
Beavis: Are you thinking you're gonna smack me?
Butt-head: No, but that's not a bad idea. [slaps Beavis several times]

Beavis: Y'know what I think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna shave my chest like these dudes, and walk around with one of these vests, and like learn to dance like that. And then, I will score all the time!
Butt-head: Instead of doing that, why don't you just, like, talk all that Spanish stuff? That would probably work.
Beavis: Heh, oh yeah. "Hey baby, [Spanish gibberish]."
Butt-head: I'm gonna try becoming one of those big, fat dudes, and go: "[Spanish gibberish]".

Beavis: Yeah well it's like, we'd all like to go home. Hell, I'd like to go home and spank my monkey! In fact, heh heh, that's a pretty good idea. So you two have to stay here and work late. Heh heh, and, um, Butt-head is in charge, because he's got..."sen-ror-ity" or something. Heh heh.
Butt-head: Uh, cool! Huh huh huh, clean the grill, McVicker!

Beavis: Yeah, yeah! BUT MMMEEEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Butt-head: That sucked, Beavis.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head, it was cool!

Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Beastie Boys! Yeah! Alright!
Butt-head: Yeah. It's about time.
Beavis: HELL YEAH! HELL YEAH!

Beavis: YES! YES! Metallica rules!
Butt-head: Not really, Beavis.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Just because you say something doesn't rule doesn't mean it doesn't...uh...yeah! Butthole!
Butt-head: I know. It sucks.
Beavis: If you say one more thing about Metallica I'm gonna slam you in the nads!
Butt-head: Go on with your bad self, Beavis.
[the camera is focused on a close-up on James Hetfield's nose]

Beavis: Yes! Yes!
Butt-head: Cool!
Beavis: This rules, Butt-head, check this out!

Beavis: Yes, bombs! Hey Butt-head, wouldn't that be cool if like, one day we were like, going to school and a bunch of planes dropped a bunch of bombs?
Butt-head: You dumbass. Bombs would like, hurt and stuff. It's only cool when they drop 'em on CNN.

Beavis: Yes, yes, GWAAAARRRR!!! Yeah, alright!
Butt-head: Cool!
Beavis: Whoa, GWAR has horns now?
Butt-head: Yeah, they taught the sex slaves to play horns. It's like Balsac told 'em - "Throwing blood and urine in the audience isn't enough. You guys need to learn how to play something".