30 Rock quotes

268 total quotes



All Seasons  Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  
Season 5
  Season 6  



Liz: My fanny pack is in my office in my mini-fridge. I like my tampons to be cold.

Liz: My husband and I are absolutely so pleased to be underwriting the Jack and Elizabeth Donaghy High School for Teen Drama, the Arts, and Feelings. As embarrassed Americans, Jack and I pledge 5 million dollars to create a new generation of choreographers and puppeteers, clowns, video artists, and theatrical jugglers who will ask the world: what is art?
Jack (to TV): We know what art is: it's paintings of horses!

Liz: See, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens when there's no order, no planning. Hitler and Martha Stewart would've hated that wedding.

Liz: Sometimes you have to do the right thing even when the wrong thing would be a whole lot easier, die Werewolf Zombie, die.
Liz: What's going on today? Has everyone lost their moral compass?
Jack: You're being awfully high and mighty for someone who once claimed her husband drowned so she could get out of a gym contract.

Liz: Usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler, but today I feel like... Hitler in Germany.

Liz: Well, you were right about Brooklyn Without Limits: crunchy on the outside, right wing nutjob on the inside.
Jack: Like Ann Coulter's underwear.

Liz: Wow, you were very fit back then.
Jack: Yes, but my penis was smaller.

Liz: You are disgusting! And I have absolutely no reason to apologise to him.
Tracy: And I have no reason to hug her other than my love of having boobs pressed against me.

Liz: [My jeans] are from Brooklyn Without Limits, this very cool store with locations in Gaytown, White Harlem, and the Van Beardswick section of Brooklyn.

Paul: This is a conservative top, Jenna. And I hate to be the stereotypical man, but this is my home and I want to wear this blouse.
Season 6

Pete: Last time I taught, I was like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society--by which I mean I got fired.

Regina Bookman: The FUTURE. And AMERICA. Now I may have lost my train of thought SEVERAL minutes ago, but if I continue to TALK LIKE THIS, no one will NOTICE, and when I STOP, you will APPLAUD my ENERGY! Thank you!

Tracy: I'm embarrassed to say I've missed the birth of both of my sons, for very legitimate reasons.
Dotcom: "Cooking a French bread pizza" and "forgot".