30 Rock quotes
268 total quotesJenna: Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.
Jenna: This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks: No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all.
Jenna: What do you mean I don't have an obituary? I'm Jenna Maroney. I played Arts & Literature in the film adaptation of Trivial Pursuit.
Erica: I know who you are, Miss Maroney, but you're not on the list. They only make obits for people they think are, you know, important.
Jenna: [grabs list and reads] Like who? "Kim Jong-il?" I've never heard of her.
Erica: I know who you are, Miss Maroney, but you're not on the list. They only make obits for people they think are, you know, important.
Jenna: [grabs list and reads] Like who? "Kim Jong-il?" I've never heard of her.
Jenna: Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end... of this sentence.
Kaylee: Mr. Donaghy! What are you doing here?
Jack: I could ask you the same thing! But it would make no sense.
Jack: I could ask you the same thing! But it would make no sense.
Kaylee: The ocean is for tools.
Jack: The ocean is awesome and for winners. You're for tools!
Jack: The ocean is awesome and for winners. You're for tools!
Kenneth: A Mr. Brett 'Fav-ray' stopped by and, uh, dropped off this picture of a hot dog.
Jenna: Finally.
Kenneth: Oh, and the Chilean miners are all out, and they are very angry about what you've been saying about them.
Jenna: So I guess they're geniuses for getting stuck in a mine?
Kenneth: Also, your pharmacy called, and apparently you can't get a prescription for ecstasy.
Jenna: Ugh, thanks, Obamacare!
Jenna: Finally.
Kenneth: Oh, and the Chilean miners are all out, and they are very angry about what you've been saying about them.
Jenna: So I guess they're geniuses for getting stuck in a mine?
Kenneth: Also, your pharmacy called, and apparently you can't get a prescription for ecstasy.
Jenna: Ugh, thanks, Obamacare!
Kenneth: The Empire State Building will be lit in the color of your choosing.
Tracy: Clear.
Kenneth: Sea World will now let you borrow a killer whale for spring break.
Tracy: I'll need a whale saddle.
Kenneth: And Steven Spielberg wants you to star is his next movie.
Tracy: Kate Capshaw's husband?!
Tracy: Clear.
Kenneth: Sea World will now let you borrow a killer whale for spring break.
Tracy: I'll need a whale saddle.
Kenneth: And Steven Spielberg wants you to star is his next movie.
Tracy: Kate Capshaw's husband?!
Liz: Come on, my card only has a 1 in 52 chance of getting picked anyway.
Tracy: How did you know that? You're like Rain Man. Quick, how many toothpicks are on the ground?
Liz: Zero.
Tracy: We need to go to Vegas.
Tracy: How did you know that? You're like Rain Man. Quick, how many toothpicks are on the ground?
Liz: Zero.
Tracy: We need to go to Vegas.
Liz: Doesn't matter how long you've lived in New York, it's still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant severed robot penises.
Liz: For instance, Jack taught me not to wear tan slacks with a tan turtleneck. I thought it looked nice, but he, rightly, pointed out that it made me look like a giant condom.
Liz: I am a grown woman! I have been doing things my way for a long time. I don't like my "life stuff" mixing with my "dude stuff."
Jack: A middle-aged woman saying "dude stuff," is that on my sadness scavenger hunt? Why yes it is!
Jack: A middle-aged woman saying "dude stuff," is that on my sadness scavenger hunt? Why yes it is!
Liz: I've just had a hard couple of months. Work has been crazy, and I went through a bad break up, and then there was this plastic bag that represented my death.
Dr. Spaceman: Sounds like you can use a little R&R. Rum and Ritalin.
Dr. Spaceman: Sounds like you can use a little R&R. Rum and Ritalin.
Liz: If I can't poop in the street, why should my tax dollars pay for someone else to?
Liz: Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned. I'm sorry I'm a real woman and not some over-sexed New York nympho like those sluts on Everybody Loves Raymond.