30 Rock quotes
268 total quotesJack: They'll say "Jack Donaghy was the greatest oceanographer who ever lived. And we walruses owe Him everything for giving us the gift of language."
Jack: This is a sign. The lower classes are getting cranky about the rich earning all of their money away from them. Can't they see this is in their best interest? How could we pay their salaries without using their money? We're on the verge of a class war.
Jack: This isn't my first rodeo, Lemon.
Liz: Well, I've been to a rodeo too. It was a cat rodeo, in a gay guy's apartment.
Liz: Well, I've been to a rodeo too. It was a cat rodeo, in a gay guy's apartment.
Jack: We'll trick those racecar-loving wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!
Jack: What are you doing in Harlem?
C.C.: Oh I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her universal healthcare platform.
Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.
C.C.: Oh I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her universal healthcare platform.
Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.
Jack: What happens to us?
Liz: We grow up.
Jack: I had a good life, but I'll never be that happy again. I want THAT back.
Liz: We grow up.
Jack: I had a good life, but I'll never be that happy again. I want THAT back.
Jack: What have children ever done for us?
Kenneth: Well, they make our shoes and wallets.
Kenneth: Well, they make our shoes and wallets.
Jack: Whatever you do, don't speak first. Ninety percent of negotiations are lost by the person who speaks first. Because what is speaking a sign of?
Audience member: ...weakness?
Jack: You - out. Fired.
Audience member: ...weakness?
Jack: You - out. Fired.
Jack: When she's ready, Dr. Kevorkian says we have to put her down. He's a very good paediatrician but that is an unfortunate name.
Jack: You have no interest in helping me. You're one of them. What do you make, five figures?
Lenny Wozniak: Forty grand a year. But don't let the woman who is blackmailing me know that.
Jack: And the police have no interest in helping me either � despite the hundreds of dollars a year I pay in taxes!
Lenny Wozniak: Forty grand a year. But don't let the woman who is blackmailing me know that.
Jack: And the police have no interest in helping me either � despite the hundreds of dollars a year I pay in taxes!
Jack: You know what? Avery loved a good fight. She used to call the cable company to dispute our bill just for the sport of it. She wouldn't stand for this dog and pony show.
Diana: I've organized several dog and pony shows and I'm offended by what you're implying.
Jack: How are you Avery's mother?
Diana: We have several things in common, Jack. We both married much, much older men -- which can be hard, or more often flaccid.
Diana: I've organized several dog and pony shows and I'm offended by what you're implying.
Jack: How are you Avery's mother?
Diana: We have several things in common, Jack. We both married much, much older men -- which can be hard, or more often flaccid.
Jack: You really are an extraordinary young man Kenneth. No matter what happens you always keep your chin up.
Kenneth: Medically it's a neck ridge.
Kenneth: Medically it's a neck ridge.
Jack: You wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting urinated on.
Liz: Or thanked! ...on.
Liz: Or thanked! ...on.
Jack: You're Liz Lemon, damn it. In certain lights, you're an 8! Using East Coast, over-35 standards, excluding Miami.