30 Rock quotes
268 total quotesLiz: My fanny pack is in my office in my mini-fridge. I like my tampons to be cold.
Liz: My husband and I are absolutely so pleased to be underwriting the Jack and Elizabeth Donaghy High School for Teen Drama, the Arts, and Feelings. As embarrassed Americans, Jack and I pledge 5 million dollars to create a new generation of choreographers and puppeteers, clowns, video artists, and theatrical jugglers who will ask the world: what is art?
Jack (to TV): We know what art is: it's paintings of horses!
Jack (to TV): We know what art is: it's paintings of horses!
Liz: No, Jack. You were just talking about how you miss office hookups. That is a double standard.
Jack: Calm down.
Liz: I won't calm down. Women are allowed to get angrier than men about double standards.
Jack: Calm down.
Liz: I won't calm down. Women are allowed to get angrier than men about double standards.
Liz: No, listen to me. She's not fun, she's just crazy. Like, grab-a-cop's-gun crazy.
Jack: Lemon, having known Claire for a very enjoyable 20 minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I'm going to go with Claire on this one.
Jack: Lemon, having known Claire for a very enjoyable 20 minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I'm going to go with Claire on this one.
Liz: No, we don't have a crazy..thing
Dennis: Yeah we do! We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay...
Dennis: Yeah we do! We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay...
Liz: Really - you want to exchange creative gifts? Oh, well, you are the one that's in trouble now, buddy, because creativity to me is just like... like a... bird, like a friendly bird, that embraces all... ideas, and just like, shoots... out of its eyes, all kinds of beauty.
Jack: Wow, Lemon, this is like watching Hemingway write. Mark Hemingway.
Jack: Wow, Lemon, this is like watching Hemingway write. Mark Hemingway.
Liz: See, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens when there's no order, no planning. Hitler and Martha Stewart would've hated that wedding.
Liz: So what's going on with you and Nancy, anyway?
Jack: We're just friends. It's platonic. I have elaborate fantasies of her husband dying in a boat explosion.
Jack: We're just friends. It's platonic. I have elaborate fantasies of her husband dying in a boat explosion.
Liz: Sometimes you have to do the right thing even when the wrong thing would be a whole lot easier, die Werewolf Zombie, die.
Liz: What's going on today? Has everyone lost their moral compass?
Jack: You're being awfully high and mighty for someone who once claimed her husband drowned so she could get out of a gym contract.
Liz: What's going on today? Has everyone lost their moral compass?
Jack: You're being awfully high and mighty for someone who once claimed her husband drowned so she could get out of a gym contract.
Liz: That's what I could do to Drew.
Jenna: Drug him? Liz, no. Having been on both sides of that, I could tell you it's not a good idea.
Liz: No, I'm going to tell Drew that I'm having a little welcome to the building party for him but there is no party and then when he shows up I'll laugh and say "oh it's the wrong night" and then he'll laugh and say one glass couldn't hurt and then I will put my mouth on his mouth!
Jenna: Drug him? Liz, no. Having been on both sides of that, I could tell you it's not a good idea.
Liz: No, I'm going to tell Drew that I'm having a little welcome to the building party for him but there is no party and then when he shows up I'll laugh and say "oh it's the wrong night" and then he'll laugh and say one glass couldn't hurt and then I will put my mouth on his mouth!
Liz: There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory.
Liz: Ugh, I hate January. It's dark and freezing and everyone's wearing bulky coats; you can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
Liz: Usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler, but today I feel like... Hitler in Germany.
Liz: We need to get these guys! Don't you know the Postmaster General?
Jack: I do, but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd return Joan Baez's phone calls.
Jack: I do, but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd return Joan Baez's phone calls.
Liz: Well, you were right about Brooklyn Without Limits: crunchy on the outside, right wing nutjob on the inside.
Jack: Like Ann Coulter's underwear.
Jack: Like Ann Coulter's underwear.