Keith: What's up, honey?
Veronica: Wallace is having a little trouble giving me a urine sample.
Keith: Can't you talk on the phone and paint your nails like other girls?
Veronica: This is a health class project. Come on, you're a man -- can you give him some pointers?
Keith: [sighs, walks over to bathroom door] Wallace?
Wallace: Yup?
Keith: You try turning the water on?
Wallace: Mmmm-hmmm.
Keith: Also, pinching your own nipples can sometimes work.
Veronica: [pushes her dad out of the room] Eww that's disgusting. I can't even look at you. [giggles]

Keith: When you get your chance to testify, it's important you keep yourself in check, okay? Aaron's lawyer is gonna use everything in his bag of tricks to rile you.
Veronica: Ah, but here's the thing - I'm "unrileable." Easygoing Veronica Mars: that's what the kids at school call me.
Keith: You sure you don't want to go over your testimony with the lawyers again?
Veronica: You know what I want, more than anything in the world? I want to be there, in court, watching Aaron at the moment the jury reads the verdict. I want to see that smirk wiped from his face. I want to see his expression at the exact moment he realizes he'll never be a free man again.
Keith: "Easygoing Veronica Mars," huh? [kisses her forehead] You know how fat men are sometimes called "Tiny"?

Keith: When you leave a sleepover early, I'm supposed to put a trench coat over my pajamas and come pick you up.
Veronica: Sorry. I drive now. And I'm not 9.
Keith: You'll always be 9 to me. Going on 30. [notices smell and starts sniffing Veronica's jacket]
Veronica: Whoa, you two need to be alone?
Keith: I know we had the smoking talking somewhere between the birds and the bees and the drinking and driving.
Veronica: Actually I think it was more of a sentence - "don't smoke" - and it was between "The Adventures of Pooh" and "Good Night, Moon."
Keith: [holds out jacket] 'Splain.

Keith: You all packed?
Veronica: Vagabond shoes and all. And pepper spray, for if we run into that Trump character.

Keith: You don't go to the Oceanside bars that the college kids hang out at, do you?
Veronica: I prefer the biker bar by the train station. I get more attention there.

Keith: You're covered in mud.
Veronica: See, that's why you make the big bucks.

Keith: You´re back early.
Veronica: Yeah, I ditched the goodbye hugging, can you believe it?
Keith: You? Miss Hug. So you must be tired. Why don´t you lie in your...[interrupted by knocking]
Prostitute: Is Keith here?
Veronica: Dad... your hooker's here.
Keith: Escort, honey... So why don´t you go to your room and do your... blog or whatever you kids do.

Kendall: And that is why the Phoenix Land Trust is where you should put your money.
Logan: I'm confused. You're talking and your clothes are on. I'm starting to think you really came over here to try and sell me real estate.

Kendall: Hi, baby. What took you so long? [she kisses Logan]
Logan: Well, if I had known you were throwing yourself at my roommate, [wipes lips] I'd have raced home.
Kendall: I brought a surprise for you. I figured you and Duncan could try it. Maybe if you boys play nice, you could share or... take turns or something.
Logan: Duncan's not into that sort of thing, pumpkin.
Kendall: No, I'm talking about Dick's Maserati.
Trina: Wait a minute. Are you like, sleeping with my little brother? What is he - 13?
Kendall: Thirteen? He wishes. So, is this your much older sister I've heard nothing about?
Logan: Oh, yes, where are my manners? Kendall Casablancas, Trina Echolls. Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
Trina: Hmm. I'm guessing she's the wet one. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got places to be.
Kendall: Where? Is there a club where you, Dedee Pfeiffer, Joey Travolta, and Melissa Rivers all meet for drinks?
Trina: There is. I don't think you'd like it. It's 21 and over. We're hitting an after party at Chuck E. Cheese though, if you're free. Okay, well, I need him in bed by ten p.m. sharp, he's got school tomorrow. [squeezes Logan's cheeks] Night, all. [exits]
Logan: Well, the joke's on her - she came over to borrow my video camera. The girl does love a good exit line.

Kizza: I'm looking for detective Mars.
Veronica: I'm detective Mars.
Kizza: But you're just a girl. You're a teenager.
Veronica: A girl, a teenager, and a private detective - I'm a triple threat. Barely fits on my business card.

Lamb: [admiring himself in the mirror after bench pressing] You know, Keith, you really should've done more to push fitness when you were here.
Keith: Yeah, I was going to get to that, but the crime-fighting kept getting in the way.

Lamb: [reading off of a $50 bill] Veronica Mars is... smarter than me.
Veronica: [slaps Lamb playfully] Oh, you stop it!

Lamb: [tapping finger on table] You said you were in Mexico the day of Lilly's murder. Why?
Logan: How many episodes of NYPD Blue did you have to watch to get that finger tapping down?
Lamb: I asked you a question.
Logan: And I ignored it and moved on. Keep up. [snapping fingers]

Lamb: [to Logan] Hey, good-looking, we'll be back to pick you up later!

Lamb: Always looking for a crime where there isn't one. Think you need a new hobby, Keith.
Keith: Oh, I don't know. I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try some time.