Lamb: So, I guess you know why you're here. You want to tell me about it?
Veronica: Okay. [exhales deeply] I confess. [pounds fist] God, you're good! I have no idea why I'm here. But I'm sure my Dad was interested to know why you hauled his daughter in and subjected her to the crime-busting stare for no apparent reason.
Lamb: He didn't need to know that you were here. You're eighteen now, kiddo. You're an adult.
Veronica: Well, that makes one of us. So are you gonna tell me why I'm here, or should I just sit back and enjoy your impression of a mildly-constipated David Caruso?
Lamb: What can you tell me about your relationship with this man? [slides a folder of photos to her]
Veronica: Ah, yes. I remember that summer. He was a roadie for Whitesnake. I was singing backup for Boyz II Men. They said it would never work, but -
Lamb: I'm glad that you find this amusing.

Lamb: So... The F-B-I. I've thought about it, you know. But big fish, small town has its perks. Still, who knows? I still might apply.
Morris: You go to college?
Lamb: For a year. Blew out a knee at Southwest Texas playing ball.
Morris: Speak a foreign language?
Lamb: A little Mexican. Enough to get by. I tell 'em to turn their music down.
Morris: Any expertise in computer science, law, physics, chemistry, forensics, mathematics?
Lamb: Expertise...?
Morris: Small town, big fish: You know, I'd ride with that.

Lamb: Still picking winners, huh, Veronica?
Veronica: I told you, when I start picking losers, it's all you.

Lamb: Strapping on a guitar... does it get rid of feelings of inadequacy?
Gabe: Does strapping on a gun?

Lamb: Veronica Mars. Is your daddy here or is he busy peeking in people's windows?
Veronica: You stop dressing up like Little Bo Peep, he'll stop peeking.

Lamb: Well, well, what do we have here? An illegal gambling establishment. Underaged drinking. [sees Logan and Veronica hugging] Public displays of affection. [shivers] It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in here.

Lamb: What do you mean by, "it smelled"?
Dick: Dude, it smelled - like the ass of something that died.
Lamb: And you can't say what it was?
Dick: I'm not, like, a professional smellologist.

Leo: I hate to bribe you, but... I'm fairly certain that aiding and abetting qualifies me for a dinner date.
Veronica: Actually, it qualifies you for dinner and a movie, but you undershot, so...
Leo: Damn!

Lilly: Check you out, Veronica Mars. You're like a rocker chick now. You and I, we'd have a lot of fun together. Yeah, if, um, if I wasn't dead and stuff.
Veronica: Why are you here?
Lilly: Don't you watch any horror movies? My soul is doomed to walk the earth until justice has been served.
Veronica: Really?
Lilly: Yeah, that, and as kinda a side project, I dispense fashion advice.

Lilly: I'm ditching his party this weekend 'cause I don't want him getting all crazy violent every time a boy undresses me with his eyes, which happens all the time. It's not my fault. I can't help it--God made me fabulous.

Logan: Hey, by the way, I am throwing I birthday party for Parker this weekend. I've been studying up too. I watched My Super Sweet Sixteen. That reminds me, do you know where I can get about a dozen eunuchs?
Veronica: Not offhand, but I could make some calls.

Logan: I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
Veronica: Epic how?
Logan: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. Epic. But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all. And then you leave town... and then it's over.
Veronica: Logan...
Logan: I'm sorry about last summer. You know, if I could do it over...
Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

Logan: [explaining the benefits of an ankle monitor] ...And the other sweet thing is that I'm in constant video contact with Martha Stewart, right?

Logan: [to Duncan] What, are we breaking up now? You want your best friend charm back?

Logan: Afternoon delight? Ooh, considerably better than fifth period English.
Kendall Casablancas: Ugh, you need to not remind me you're in high school. There's an 'ick' factor.
Logan: Is that so?
Kendall: Yeah. School in general? Not very hot. Unless I'm wearing a naughty school girl uniform. Then it's very hot.
Logan: I'm sure it would be, for the ten seconds you had it on.