Veronica: [voiceover] The '70s had the Hustle. The '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux-lesbian dance.

Veronica: [voiceover] The best way to keep a guy at least ten feet away? Dry heave. Vomit is the new mace.

Veronica: [voiceover] The man who would be my mentor. Mr. Popular. Just another on the list of men who disappoint.

Veronica: [voiceover] The only way I'd ever make two grand in a week working at the Hut is if they installed a pole.

Veronica: [voiceover] They gave me a choice. I could stand by my dad, or stand by Duncan and my dead best friend's family. I chose Dad. It's a decision I live with every day. And you want to know the kicker? I don't even know what's true anymore. Maybe everyone else is right. Maybe Dad screwed up the investigation. Maybe I gave up my circle of friends - my life - over an error in Dad's judgment.

Veronica: [voiceover] Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you're like me, you just keep chasing the storm. (pause) The problem with chasing the storm is that it wears you down, breaks your spirit. Even the experts agree, a girl needs closure.

Veronica: [voiceover] What was I thinking? Christmas in Neptune is, was, and always will be, about the trappings: the lights and the tinsel they use to cover up the sordidness, the corruption. No, Veronica, there is no Santa Claus.

Veronica: [voiceover] When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pant suit is a solid wardrobe choice. It's fashion's way of saying, "Move along. Nothing to see here."

Veronica: [voiceover] Wow, it's bizzaro world. Out here I'm Miss Popular.

Veronica: [voiceover] You know those people who can predict when change is coming in their life? I'm not one of them. Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.

Veronica: Actually, that's just why I'm in jail: To avoid Valentines Day.

Veronica: And how can I help you, sir?
Weevil: I need a favor.
Veronica: Ah, a favor - one of our specialties.
Weevil: I need you to bug the confessional at St. Mary's church.
Veronica: Um... I'm sorry. That's not on our menu. Maybe you should try "You're crazy" down the street?
Logan: [from the next table over] It's not just for him.
Veronica: Isn't this a very odd coincidence? Or, wait - are you guys, like, roomies now and he ate your peanut butter and now you're not speaking?
Logan: Funny you should bring up roomies, as I just lost one. I don't suppose you could help me find where Duncan disappeared?
Veronica: Ooh, sorry, one favor per customer.
Weevil: Uh, yeah, can we stay focused here? 'Cause if we're seen together by the wrong people, that would be bad.
Veronica: So, this is sneaking? I've got a pantomine-horse disguise you could use. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?
Logan: Yeah, I'm glad my misfortunes amuse you.

Veronica: Another thing girls love are Jimmy Choos, Dolce & Gabana, and convertibles that cost more than the gross national product of Sri Lanka

Veronica: Brian and Fred, as demented as this sounds, thought you'd have more confidence with girls if you... lost your virginity.
Max: I'm gonna go kill my friends now, so, if you could just leave me a bill.

Veronica: Cameras are on the roof, so if this guy followed you here, we should be able to spot him.
Gia: Wow, how Mission Impossible! I feel like at any moment, Tom Cruise is going to dangle from the ceiling on cables.
Veronica: Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.