Veronica Mars quotes

413 total quotes


Veronica: Can I get you some coffee? A donut? Baked good of some sort?
Cliff: Aren't we pleasant. You're not going to try to sell me a raffle ticket, are you?
Veronica: Close. I want you to get me onto death row to meet with Abel Koontz.
Cliff: You crazy kids! The stuff you're into. Hula hoops, cramming into phone booths, visiting death row inmates...what's it gonna be next month?

Veronica: Can you do me a weird favor without asking any questions?
Wallace: Isn't that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?

Veronica: Care to share what you two free-spirited lads were up to? I'll give you a hint: it was squalid.
Mercer: Logan has good reason to keep that to himself. But you shouldn't worry; he's a solid guy. I mean, I'd want him to be my boyfriend, if I swung that way.
Veronica: Give it time, you just got here.

Veronica: Caz, I'm kind of busy so let's play this at fast forward. I ask you to stop harassing Sabrina Fuller. You deny it. I eventually catch you. You're suspended, dropped from basketball and made the subject of a news blurb that everyone chuckles at in the papers. So stop harassing Sabrina, okay?
Caz: Look, I'm not harassing Sabrina.
Veronica: Caz, did you listen?

Veronica: Caz, you were lurking. The innocent rarely lurk.

Veronica: Chip a moment of your time.
Chip: I'm kinda in the middle of something.
Veronica: It's a cluster of morons, don't worry they'll let you back in.
Chip: You know what I like about you, you got spirit.
Veronica: I want to talk to you.
Chip: That's what you're doing.
Veronica: Could you put your head up your ass before they stuck the egg in there or is this new?
Chip: What do you want.
Veronica: Who sent you the video.
Chip: Don't know, don't care.
Veronica: You dont care now, but holy crap are you gonna care when I start to get my revenge on, you'll be doin' all sorts of caring.

Veronica: Daaad, come here.
[Keith joins Veronica in her room.]
Keith: You beckoned?
Veronica: Yeah, you'll never believe it, a maid from our hotel in New York found the flash card with our vacation pictures on it. Look.
Keith: HOT DOG!
[Veronica stares at Keith, confused.]
Veronica: Hot Dog?
Keith: Its an expression of excitement and enthusiasm.

Veronica: Dad, you're an ex-cop. You know gangland-enforcer types. Can't you find someone to intimidate the maintenance supe into fixing the hot water problem?

Veronica: Dear Seventeen, how can I tell if the really cute boy in my class has a crush on me? No, strike that. Dear Seventeen, how can I tell if the really cute boy in my class murdered his sister?

Veronica: Dick, why are you here?
Dick: You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties, and suddenly, school's all in a bunch. There's like this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus, and that's where you come in.
Veronica: I get to do the kickin'?
Dick: You get to be the spy who loves me. The guys were really impressed with how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Veronica: Were they? That means so little.
Dick: They knew we had, like, this connection. So, they sent me here to hire you. We need you to do your Veronica thing and prove it's a pack of lies.
Veronica: Is it? A pack of lies?
Dick: We're a frat. Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk?

Veronica: Dick? Get out here.
Dick: What's up, V?
Veronica: If you had to bet?
Dick: Look, from a guy's perspective, the video just made your stock go up. You looked great. Enthusiasm -- always a plus--
Veronica: It's like you're this giant jackass piñata begging for someone to beat the candy out of you. Where'd you get the video?
Dick: Someone e-mailed it to me.
Veronica: Who? Get your computer.
Dick: I probably deleted--
Veronica: After all these years, do you not instinctively fear me? Maybe you should write yourself a note.

Veronica: Did you hear something last night?
Keith: What kind of something?
Veronica: Like a loud thump from upstairs.
Keith: I don't know. But you know me, I can sleep through an earthquake. Why?
Veronica: I don't know. It sounded like a falling body. It really freaked me out.
Keith: A falling body?
Veronica: Yes, a falling body.
Keith: Would you describe the sound as "Hitchcockian"?
Veronica: I'm glad you're able to entertain yourself.
Keith: Oh, sweetie, don't sell yourself short. I find you completely entertaining.

Veronica: Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? It's official, the end of days are upon us.

Veronica: Do you know how long I've wanted to go to Stanford?
Wallace: Since middle school.
Veronica: Elementary, my dear Wallace.
[Wallace and Jackie chuckle.]
Veronica: Do you have any idea how long I've waited to say that?

Veronica: Do you see the moving truck out front? Ms. Moana Lisa and Mr. Outside Voice next door finally got the boot. Two old acquaintances that should be forgotten.