Lorena: You never embraced our nature!
Bill: Your nature?! It was never mine! I welcome death because only then will I be truly free of the disease that is you!

Magister: I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.
Russell: Thank you.
Sophie-Anne: Yes, thanks. So happy I could bleed.

Magister: Trouble abounds in your fair state.
Eric: Tell me.
Magister: It would seem your idyllic little home is competing to become the V capital of the world.
Sophie-Anne: Can you believe it? I am so embarrassed. Naturally I told the Magister that you were the only vampire in my queendom that could be trusted with this.
Eric: Any thing I can do to be of service.
Magister: Our blood is sacred. Wasting it on anything other than procreation is blasphemy.
Sophie-Anne: Madness.
Eric: Desecration.
Magister: Have you noticed an uptick in users in your neck of the woods? Maybe even here in your club?
Eric: I haven't, no.
Magister: See that's surprising to me. 'Cause every other sheriff to whom I have spoken has. The amounts are so great in fact, we can only assume a vampire is responsible.
Sophie-Anne: An act of self loathing so shameful that who ever is responsible should fall on his own stake.
Eric: Respectfully, Magister. I'm not sure I follow your logic.
Magister: If your average run-of-the-mill drainers were behind this, it would stand to reason said drainers would need vampires to drain; which means there would be missing vampires and plenty of them. How many vampires have gone missing in your area?
Eric: None, Magister.
Magister: So, now do you follow my logic?
Eric: I do, and I will look into the matter.
Magister: Good ... and I will expect results.

Pam: [to Jessica] Let's go to the ladies room and stare at ourselves in the mirror.

Pam: Did you sleep at all?
Eric: [takes a bloody towel and wipes his bleeding nose] I'm fine.
Pam: The guards still outside?
Eric: [nods] Pam, whatever the Authority decides, I will not allow you to take any responsibility.
Pam: You didn't kill the Magister.
Eric: But politically I'm a much cleaner scapegoat. Who's easier to pin it on: a sheriff in your custody or a king that might be anywhere? If they search Russell's palace they'll find the remains of his lover.
Pam: What did he do to you?
Eric: Nothing. But he was the nearest thing to Russell Edgington's heart. He had to die.
Pam: A hundred years I've been with you. Why did you never say anything about Russell or your family?
Eric: You didn't need to know. What good would it do to share my pain with you?
Pam: You didn't need to carry it all by yourself.
Eric: I am not weak. I was a sole survivor. The burden's mine alone.
Pam: We've lived through so much for so long. It can't end this quickly...
Eric: Everything ends. Even the immortal.... If I can't go on, you must make a new vampire. It is your time to be a Maker.
[Pam breaks down into tears and kneels before Eric, crying into his chest]

Pam: You can dish it out, but you sure can't take it, can you Magister?
Eric: Let's see how this plays out Pam. Can always taunt later.

Pam: You need to call the Queen.
Eric: The Queen is the last person I need finding out about this.
Pam: You're not the only one whose fate hangs in the balance here!
Eric: And what do you think the Queen will do if I tell her I've lost the one vampire who could link her to the dealing of vampire blood?! That I have no idea where he is?
Pam: What do you think she'll do if she finds out from someone else? Call the Queen.
Eric: There are times when I seek your counsel, Pam. Now is not one of those times.

Russell: As always the deposit will go to your Trust account.
Franklin: But I want cash.
Russell: Last time you had any real money you ended up at the slots in Biloxi slaughtering a church group of elderly women.
Franklin: They wouldn't let me have a turn!

Russell: Things may be getting complicated soon. I'm afraid I acted somewhat impulsively while I was gone.
Talbot: [sighs] What did you do? Spit it out.
Russell: I killed the Magister...He deserved it!
Talbot: Are you out of your fucking mind?! The Authority will never stand for-
Russell: Fuck the Authority! It won't be able to prove a thing. I made sure of that.
Talbot: You're acting like a century old child.
Russell: Relax! I've already sent a half million dollar check to the AVL in support of their foolish Vampire Rights Amendment.
Talbot: You can't buy your way out of everything!
Russell: Of course I can! This is America.

Russell: [referring to Talbot's reaction] It's like Armageddon in here whenever someone chips a dessert glass.

Sheriff Dearborne: I quit! [walking away from the crime scene]
Andy: Hey, Bud. Wait up. Where you going'?
Sheriff Dearbourne: [irate] Didn't you hear me? I quit! I've had it with this shit! Every time we clear one murder, two more spring up.

Sookie: I'm a fairy? How fucking lame.

Sookie: If I do get into some kind trouble, you'll feel it right?... How fast can you get to me?
Eric: Probably not fast enough. Stay out of trouble, Ms. Stackhouse. You'll do us both a favor.

Sookie: What happened back there? Why were they all shiftin'? You almost shifted.
Alcide: Couldn't help it. Their energy starts rolling and it takes over. We're lucky we got out there alive. Fuck!
Sookie: I know it was terrible for you, but-
Alcide: You don't know anything!
Sookie: I know that if you don't slow down you're gonna kill us, and I am not going to die 'cause of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!

Sookie: Who would we be if we were normal? It's hard to even picture it. Would we live in Gran's house or your house?
Bill: Both. We'd be married, happily married.
Sookie: And I'm not a waitress anymore. I'm...I'm going to college. No, I'm a real estate agent and I'm really rich.
Bill: I teach third grade and I love my job.
Sookie: We'll have a big flower garden.
Bill: We grow vegetables.
Sookie: Tara comes over for dinner and sometimes we double date with Arlene and Terry.
Bill: And I go fishing with Jason.
Sookie: We don't even know Eric Northman.
Bill: Everything is peaceful.