Andy: [about dancing] This one time I was in a club in Shreveport and I actually had a woman tell me I looked like a epileptic on meth. Never again!

Barry: I don't know what kind of fried corn cob town you're from, but this is Dallas, baby. The vamps here are scary as shit.

Barry: Why won't you leave me alone?
Sookie: Because I've never met another telepath. Have you?
Barry: No and don't say that word.
Sookie: It's what you are. Nobody else knows what it's like to be us. We need to stick together. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Barry: Yes it is! My life is shit. I can't do anything normal people do. If I'm not around a bunch of vampires, I can't hardly think straight.
Sookie: I used to feel exactly the same. Like I had a disability.
Barry: More like a curse.
Sookie: But lately since I met my boyfriend, it seems like telepathy can come in handy some times. You can even make a little money.
Barry: Then you're even crazier than I am.

Bill: [after Hoyt leaves] We established there was to be no hunting in this house.
Jessica: I know you feel like shit because you had to make me and you should feel like shit! But guess what? I'd never kissed a boy before that. Meetin' Hoyt is the only good thing that's happened to me since... my whole new life started. No, I'm not ready for any thing to happen to fast. I-I'd been happy just to go on kissin' him all night long... Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on? [realizes what that means and runs up stairs]
Sookie: I think I'm gonna like her.
Bill: Sookie, do not make the mistake of thinkin' you two can be girlfriends. She is...
Sookie: Yeah, I get it. She's a vampire. Believe me, I learned my lesson about that.

Bill: [to Jessica] Your bedtime will be at 4 a.m. and not a minute later. We also recycle in this house.

Bill: [to Sookie as she sucks bullets from Eric] What are you doing?
Sookie: [spitting out a bullet with blood] I sucked silver out of Eric's chest and saved his life, even though I really didn't want to.
Eric: [reclining on the floor]...She was superb.
Bill: Eric was in no danger.
Sookie: W-what?
Eric: A tiny falsehood.
Bill: He was already healing. The bullets would've pushed themselves out. This way he's... forced you to drink his blood.
Sookie: No! No! No!
Bill: You're connected. He'll be able to sense your emotions.
Sookie: [to Eric] You big lying a-hole.
Eric: Bill, you're right. I believe I can sense her emotions. [Sookie smacks him in the chest and runs to Bill]...Sweet.
Sookie: [to Eric] I'll never do anything for you again! Monster!
Bill: [to Sookie] It's not your fault.
Eric: I think I'm gonna cry.

Bill: [to Sookie, about Jessica] You undermined my authority as her maker! You risked those people's safety and your own! If I had not glamoured them with in an inch if their sanity, both our lives would have shattered!
Sookie: I know. I'm sorry!
Bill: You keep sayin' that and I am expected to what? Forget this ever happened?
Sookie: What else do you want me to say? I know when she asked me to take her, I should say no. But all I could think about was Gran and what I would give to see her again.
Bill: That does not give you license to behave like an irresponsible child! She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with!
[upset, Sookie gets out of the car, slamming the door as she moves away]
Bill: What are you doing?
Sookie: Walking!
Bill: Don't be ridiculous. Bon Temps is nearly 20 miles away!
Sookie: [walking away] I'd rather walk all night then spend another second in that car with you!
Jessica: [to Bill, after he gets back in the car] She wants you to go after her. She wants you to go after her and kiss her and tell her that you love her.
Bill: She will come back, when she calms down... she will come back.

Bill: [to Sookie] Are you still angry about our fight? Sookie, none of that matters anymore.
Sookie: You're right. I'm alive and in one piece. Unlike my friend Lafayette who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death.
Bill: What?
Sookie: You better not have known anything about this, Bill Compton. Because if you did, I don't think I could ever forgive you!
Bill: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Eric: [behind them] I imagine she's referring to the human in my basement... The human who traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood - which as you know is a grave offense.
Sookie: [to Eric] His name is Lafayette and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for what you've done to him. [slaps him]
Bill: Sookie!
Eric: I'm glad you're feeling better and may I add that color suits you very well. [referring to her red shirt]
Sookie: Go to hell!
Bill: [holding her back] Sookie! Enough!
Sookie: Oh it's not nearly enough. They've tortured him and bitten him and shot him and kept him down there in his own filth for weeks.
Bill: [to Eric] Is this true?
Eric: There are others who would have done far worse and you know it.
Sookie: You're gonna let him go right now or I swear, I'm going to the police.
Eric: [angry, draws his fangs] I do not respond well to threats!... But perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement.

Bill: [waking up as she comes back to bed] I dreamed you were gone.
Sookie: You did?... That's funny, 'cause I was.
Bill: Sookie...
Sookie: It was only for a few minutes. I had to. Bill, it's the most amazin' thing. I met another telepath and he's not a vampire or very good at it. Oh, it's wonderful knowin' there's somebody besides me.
Bill: You made him aware of your gift after everything I've said?
Sookie: Not on purpose. We were in each other's heads before we knew it. I thought you'd be happy for me.
Bill: The more people know what you do, the harder it is for me to protect you.
Sookie: [about Barry] He can't even admit what he is to himself. He's not gonna do any talkin' about it.
Bill: You can't be sure.
Sookie: Yes, I can. I'm good at this. Look, if all we're supposed to do in Dallas is shut up and take orders, I might as well be slingin' beers at Merlotte's. You're the one who told me I was more than a waitress.
Bill: You are. But...
Sookie: What?
Bill: Never mind.
Sookie: Talk to me. Lean on me. I've leaned on you plenty.
Bill: Well, here I am responsible for you and Jessica. Yet no decisions are mine. It makes me feel...
Sookie: Like a human?
Bill: Like a waitress.
Sookie: You're walkin' in my shoes and it's givin' you blisters.
Bill: Eric is strangely intent about all this. It's not like him. I don't trust it.
Sookie: Don't you worry about Eric. We'll do the job and go home. A deal's a deal.
Bill: Sookie, you know what he's like. It's not like him to break a contract with a girl.
Sookie: A woman... he needs me. He won't wanna make me mad.
Bill: ...I can't lose you.
Sookie: You never will.

Bill: If Sookie is hurt in any way because of you, I will not stop until I drive a stake through whatever semblance of a heart you have left.
Lorena: It's true. You're in love with a human. That's so tragic, it's funny. [laughing manically]

Bill: That was really quite desperate of you: tricking her into drinking your blood, so that she became attracted to you.
Eric: Unlike you, who fed her your own blood the very night you met��
Bill: How do you know that?
Eric: So you're not denying it?
Bill: I was saving her life.
Eric: Isn't that convenient.

Bill: Why this allegiance to Godric?
Eric: He is much beloved by his subjects.
Bill: Only kings and queens have subjects Eric. Not Sheriffs.
Eric: Godric could have been king of Texas had he wanted. He could have been king of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as I am and very powerful. There are none above him in the new world.
Bill: Well if he's so powerful, how could they abduct him?
Eric: Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can be taken by humans, then none of us are safe.

Bill: You've heard there's a maenad in our midst?
Sam: I'm familiar.
Bill: You are aware she is here because of you.
Sam: Something like that.
Bill: I need you and Sookie needs you to make this right.
Sam: If I thought it was as easy as givin' myself up to Maryann, I'd have done that by now and what's to say she's gonna stop at me? Killers just don't suddenly quit killin'. You oughta know that.
Bill: And standing by idly is not an option either. You must come with me.
Sam: Oh I'm not sure I wanna be doing that.
Bill: I'm not sure I'm giving you a choice.

Chow: [about Lafayette's leg] How much blood do you think he's lost?
Pam: Oh, I still think he has something to offer.
Chow: I hate to let it all go to waste like this. Seems a shame we have to wait for Eric.
Pam: Well, maybe one day you'll be sheriff and you can make the rules.
Chow: I doubt that.
Pam: [happy] Me too.

Eric: 'Baby?' I am over 1,000 years old.