Torchwood quotes
257 total quotesJack: Okay Janet [the Weevil], time for a trip out.
Tosh: You call it Janet?
Jack: Barbara just never seemed right.
Tosh: You call it Janet?
Jack: Barbara just never seemed right.
Jack: Under any other circumstances, an exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning.
Jack: you need to know something. A long time ago, I was pretty good at torture. I had quite a reputation as the go-to guy. My job demanded, at the time, see. So I know where to apply the tiniest amount of pressure to a wound like yours...
Cannibal: stop, you're going to kill me!
Jack: it's in your power to make me stop. Just tell me what I need to know! 'Cause in ten seconds, I'm going to find a sharp object.
Cannibal: stop, you're going to kill me!
Jack: it's in your power to make me stop. Just tell me what I need to know! 'Cause in ten seconds, I'm going to find a sharp object.
Jack: you're a united front now. Ianto, hiding your cyber girlfriend in the basement. Owen, so strong he stepped into the cage with a weevil waiting to get mauled. Toshiko, your alien lesbian gave you a pendant.
Gwen: Jack, calm down, I just need to save Rhys.
Jack: yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys you spend all that time in Owen's bed.
Gwen: Jack, calm down, I just need to save Rhys.
Jack: yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys you spend all that time in Owen's bed.
Owen: [re: the Resurrection Gauntlet.] You know, we never gave it a cool name.
Tosh: I thought we just called it "the Resurrection Gauntlet".
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about... the Risen Mitten?
[Jack raises his eyebrows and Owen rolls his eyes despairingly.]
Ianto: I think it's catchy.
Tosh: I thought we just called it "the Resurrection Gauntlet".
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about... the Risen Mitten?
[Jack raises his eyebrows and Owen rolls his eyes despairingly.]
Ianto: I think it's catchy.
Owen: Give Ianto a stopwatch, and he's happy.
Ianto: It's the button on the top.
Ianto: It's the button on the top.
Owen: I hate the countryside. It's dirty, it's unhygienic. And what is that smell?
Gwen: That would be grass.
Owen: It's disgusting.
Gwen: That would be grass.
Owen: It's disgusting.
Owen: I started looking into devil worship and stuff from that era [the 1800s], see if there's anything about plucking out hearts, and would you believe it, there's nothing! They ate eyeballs, they drank blood, they had sex with animals, but they did not pluck out each others' hearts, because obviously, that would have been weird.
Owen: If it's someone we've pissed off that narrows it down to 4 or 5 million.
Jack: That's just the humans.
Jack: That's just the humans.
Owen: Make yourself useful, sweetheart; pass us the big chisel from the toolbox.
Gwen: Not sweetheart, Gwen. One syllable, sure you can manage it.
Owen: Not sweetcheeks? Freckles? New girl?
Gwen: [getting out chisel] It's a shame your tool's not big enough for the job, darlin'. Catch!
Gwen: Not sweetheart, Gwen. One syllable, sure you can manage it.
Owen: Not sweetcheeks? Freckles? New girl?
Gwen: [getting out chisel] It's a shame your tool's not big enough for the job, darlin'. Catch!
Owen: Why should you get away with it? You said you were sorry, said you didn't want to hurt her, but you didn't STOP! What if I didn't stop? Would I be sorry?
Gwen: Owen, no...
Gwen: Owen, no...
Owen: [while cleaning Gwen's shotgun wound] There's going to be a certain amount of residue, so just lie back and think of Torchwood.
Suzie: “Captain, my Captain.†Do you want to know a secret? There's something moving in the dark and it's coming, Jack Harkness. It's coming for you.
Tosh: All I'm saying is that once in a while I'd like to drive.
Owen: Yeah, and all I'm saying is no.
Tosh: Why not?
Owen: Look I've shared cars with women before, I know what'll happen, there's an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seat's in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheel's in my crotch. By time I've sorted all that out, aliens will've taken Newport!
Owen: Yeah, and all I'm saying is no.
Tosh: Why not?
Owen: Look I've shared cars with women before, I know what'll happen, there's an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seat's in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheel's in my crotch. By time I've sorted all that out, aliens will've taken Newport!