Torchwood quotes

257 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 4  



Ianto: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, you're chasing the scum of the universe, come midnight you're the wedding fairy.

Ianto: You could have saved her! You're worse than anything locked up down there. One day I'll have the chance to save you and I'll watch you suffer and die.

Intercom: This is a UNIT facility. Your rights as a citizen have been withdrawn. You will be held here indefinitely. We are not required to provide you with legal representation. Anything you say will be recorded. You will be allowed no communication with any person or organization outside this facility. There is no right of appeal. If you fail to comply with the rules we are authorized to discipline you.

Jack: Only in suffering do we realize beauty.
Owen: Yeah, yeah. Who said that?
Jack: Proust.
Owen: You've read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. [pause] Well, no. We dated for a while. He was really immature.

Jack: [After introducing the team] Meet
John: Captain John Hart.
Jack: We go back.
John: Excuse me, we more than go back. We were partners.
Ianto: In what way?
John: In every way. And then some.

Jack: [looking through a dress catalogue] Nope, like that one. Good choice.
Ianto: I estimated Gwen's size from the Hub's security laser scans. As you know, my dad was a master tailor; he could size a man's inside leg measurement by his stride across the shop threshold.
Jack: Ah, a family eye. Remind me to test it some time.
Ianto: Well, if later on-
Owen: [walking through the threshold] Jack!
Ianto: Yep, brilliant, like that one.

Jack: [stunning Max] That one's for Ianto. Risen Mitten, Life Knife, and that old classic...Stun Gun.

Jack: [talking about the alien] We're going to save it. Stabilize it, wait for the rift to open, and, fwooh, send it back.
Ianto: ...And guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime?

Jack: All right, usual formation.
Gwen: What's the usual formation?
Owen: Varies.
Gwen: How can the usual formation vary?

Jack: And this is Ianto Jones [Ianto nods] Ianto cleans up after us, gets us everywhere on time.
Ianto : I try my best.
Jack: And he looks good in a suit.
Ianto: Careful, that's harassment, sir.

Jack: And you are?
Ianto: Jones, Ianto Jones.
Jack: Nice to meet you Jones Ianto Jones.

Jack: Before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of "Torchwood"?
Owen: Er, yeah, that would be me. Sorry, I'm a twat.

Jack: Come back with me. I've got somewhere nice and big where you can fly around.
Ianto: So you'll let the pterodactyl in and not me?!
Jack: I need a guard dog.
Ianto: I could be that!

Jack: Have faith, with a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: And what if they can't stop it?
Tosh: They'll stop it.
Owen:Yeah, but if they can't?
Ianto: Then it's...all over.
Owen: [after a pause] Let's all have sex.
Ianto: [deadpan] And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.

Jack: Hey, when you joked about the Millennium Bug, I didn't realise it was gonna have 18 legs stacked with poison. Anyone home? Hey! You know you're supposed to party like it's... (stops and sees his dead crew, then a man) Alex?
Alex: Jack! Just in time.
Jack: Alex? What happened? Who did this?
Alex: Me.
Jack: What? Why?
Alex: We got it wrong, Jack. We thought we could control the stuff we found. And what's it brought us? So much death.
Jack: What happened to them?
Alex: It's good you're here. Always did have great timing. This place, it's yours. Torchwood Three. My gift to you, Jack, for a century of service as field operative. Fill this place with purpose. Before it's too late. Please.
Jack: Alex, listen. It's going to be okay.
Alex: No. It's not. It's really not. I looked inside. It showed me what's coming. They were mercy killings. It's the kindest thing I could do. So none of us see the storm. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you. 21st century, Jack. Everything's gonna change. And we're not ready. (gun to forehead)
Jack: Alex!