Emma: How much food money do I have left?
Ianto: £15.40.
[Emma immediately grabs various confectionery items]
Ianto: £12.10. You'll ruin your teeth.
Emma: You sound like my mum.

Esther: Do you think I'm useless?
Jack: No. I think you're new to all this.
Esther: Yeah, but I'm CIA.
Jack: So's Rex. But he's just pretending. And that's the big secret, Esther. At times like these, the game goes to the person who speaks with the loudest voice. But pretty much everyone just wishes their mother was here.

Esther: He cockblocked the ATF.
Gwen: [laughs] I have no idea what any of that means.

Esther: Torchwood, that wasn't a virus. It's gotta be some sort of malware.
Noah: It's like nothing I've ever seen. The word "Torchwood" has vanished. It's been eradicated. If you search for "Torchwood," you get no results. Nothing gets no results.
Esther: There's gotta be something on paper.
Noah: Shelves are buried. It's all gone. I asked Yvonne. She said it was classified under the 456 regulations. She said you want to stay away.
Esther: Why?
Noah: They all died. So the story goes, anyone that worked for Torchwood was killed in action. And they died young.

Esther: What was that? Was that Lyn? What the hell is going on?
Gwen: Welcome to Torchwood.

Eugene: [Opening narration] The speed of light is 299,792,458 metres per second. Pain travels through the body at 350 feet per second. Even a sneeze can reach a hundred miles per hour. And as for life? Well... that just bloody whizzes by.

Eugene: The average life is full of near misses and absolute hits. Of great love and small disasters. It's made up of banana milkshakes, loft insulation and random shoes. It's dead ordinary and truly, truly amazing. What you've got to realize is, it's all here, now. So breathe deep and swallow it whole. Because take it from me: life just whizzes by, and then, all of a sudden, it's--

Farrington: What are you?
Owen: I'm broken. I'm Dr Owen Harper. And I'm having one hell of a day

Gwen Cooper: Can you deal with the body when it's cold?
Ianto Jones: My pleasure, unless you'll be making sushi.

Gwen Cooper: You left us, Jack!
Captain Jack Harkness: [sigh] I know, I'm sorry.
Gwen Cooper: We knew nothing, Jack!
Toshiko Sato: Where were you?
Captain Jack Harkness: [smiles] I found my Doctor.
Owen Harper: Did he fix you?
Captain Jack Harkness: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection.
Ianto Jones: [softly] Are you going back to him?
Captain Jack Harkness: I came back for you.

Gwen: [mockingly] Oh my God, Severn Bridge. I'm going into England. Farewell forever.
Rhys: [mock-concerned] Good luck. Have you got currency?
Gwen: Yes, and I've had my injections.

Gwen: Alright Glyn? What's occurring?
Glyn: Been watching the Bay, no sea monsters yet.
Gwen: Ah, still early!

Gwen: But hold on, if no one can see it when the lift's coming up, there's a great big bloody hole in the floor. Don't people fall in?
Jack: That is so Welsh.
Gwen: What is?
Jack: I show you something fantastic; you find fault.

Gwen: But those people, last night - the people in the car, who are they? What's Torchwood?
PC Andy: I dunno. Special Ops?
Gwen: Yeah, but what does that mean?
PC Andy:I'll bet you ten quid they're DNA specialists. It's all DNA these days. Like that CSI bollocks. CSI Cardiff, I'd like to see that. They'd be measuring the velocity of a meat kebab!

Gwen: Do you think I've changed?
Rhys: Eh?
Gwen: Since I joined Torchwood, am I different?
Rhys: Why?
Gwen: It's just something Andy said. Okay, let me just tell you this one thing, okay?
Rhys: Okay, go on.
Gwen: He still fancies me. (Rhys snickers) Don't laugh, Rhys. That's why he didn't come to the wedding.
Rhys: Bloody hell, poor sod.
Gwen: Oi! I'm a very sexy lady and you are a very lucky man. Just remember that, okay? (unzips jacket)
Rhys: We're not going to talk about kids tonight, are we?
Gwen: We could so some practising