The Golden Girls quotes
465 total quotesRose: I did learn that Baked Alaska can actually be baked locally.
Dorothy: Rose, I have an even bigger scoop for you. Mars Bars are made right here on earth.
Dorothy: Rose, I have an even bigger scoop for you. Mars Bars are made right here on earth.
Rose: I haven't been this depressed since I was rejected by Uncle Sam.
Blanche: Well honey, if he was your uncle, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't like if he was your cousin, where the relationship might have had a future.
Dorothy: Tell me Blanche, have any of your relatives appeared in Deliverance?
Blanche: Well honey, if he was your uncle, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't like if he was your cousin, where the relationship might have had a future.
Dorothy: Tell me Blanche, have any of your relatives appeared in Deliverance?
Rose: I was booked, fingerprints, mug shots, I'm a known criminal! I'll never be able to go back to my hometown again!
Blanche: Oh honey, nobody back home's ever gonna find out about this.
Rose: Oh yes they will! The St. Olaf Courier-Dispatch is known for its investigative reporting!
Dorothy: You're right, that series they did on oat fungus was an uncompromising piece of journalism.
Blanche: Oh honey, nobody back home's ever gonna find out about this.
Rose: Oh yes they will! The St. Olaf Courier-Dispatch is known for its investigative reporting!
Dorothy: You're right, that series they did on oat fungus was an uncompromising piece of journalism.
Rose: Mrs. Claxton's soul is part of that tree now, Sophia.
Sophia: That's really lovely... and it's touching how that Great Dane is paying its respects!
Sophia: That's really lovely... and it's touching how that Great Dane is paying its respects!
Rose: My uncle Lester only had one tooth and he could eat corn on the cob...Course he didn't actually get a lot of it into his mouth. So they'd cream what fell on his pants and he'd eat it later.
Rose: Oh darn, I forgot something.
Blanche: Go in your pajamas!
Rose: No, it's not that, I forgot to say my prayers.
Dorothy: Oh Rose, God wouldn't mind if you skipped a night! He's very busy these days, most of his spare time is spent talking to Pat Robertson.
Blanche: Go in your pajamas!
Rose: No, it's not that, I forgot to say my prayers.
Dorothy: Oh Rose, God wouldn't mind if you skipped a night! He's very busy these days, most of his spare time is spent talking to Pat Robertson.
Rose: Oh, Blanche, how do you feel about performing in front of a video camera?
Blanche: I think it's okay as long as you've already had at least three dates.
Blanche: I think it's okay as long as you've already had at least three dates.
Rose: Sophia did you come to bail us out?
Dorothy: No Rose, she's dropping off a manicotti with a file in it.
Dorothy: No Rose, she's dropping off a manicotti with a file in it.
Rose: Sophia, is that a Captain Jack's Seafood Shanty uniform you're wearing?
Sophia: No, Rose, I'm off to discover the Straits of Magellan. Yo ho!
Sophia: No, Rose, I'm off to discover the Straits of Magellan. Yo ho!
Rose: We wanted to get the best corner before Johnny No-Thumbs shows up with his lunch wagon.
Dorothy: Johnny No-Thumbs ?
Rose: Well actually, he has several fingers missing from each hand. It's remarkable to watch him make a veal and pepper hero. [heads for the door]
Dorothy: Ma, you are trying to muscle in on a guy named Johnny No-Thumbs? Are you crazy? He's probably connected with the mob!
Sophia: Relax! If they were his friends, he'd still have his thumbs! [opens the front door]
Rose: He's a very sweet man, although the first time he waved hello, Sophia misunderstood and gave him the finger back.
Dorothy: Johnny No-Thumbs ?
Rose: Well actually, he has several fingers missing from each hand. It's remarkable to watch him make a veal and pepper hero. [heads for the door]
Dorothy: Ma, you are trying to muscle in on a guy named Johnny No-Thumbs? Are you crazy? He's probably connected with the mob!
Sophia: Relax! If they were his friends, he'd still have his thumbs! [opens the front door]
Rose: He's a very sweet man, although the first time he waved hello, Sophia misunderstood and gave him the finger back.
Rose: What are you doing?
Blanche: I am contouring my eyebrows. I use Miss Christie Brinkley as a guide because we have exactly the same bone structure. I just hope she doesn't let herself go to pot after that baby comes. I don't want that big-eyed husband of hers coming after me.
Rose: I never do very much with my eyebrows.
Blanche: That's why from the nose up, you look like Wilford Brimley.
Blanche: I am contouring my eyebrows. I use Miss Christie Brinkley as a guide because we have exactly the same bone structure. I just hope she doesn't let herself go to pot after that baby comes. I don't want that big-eyed husband of hers coming after me.
Rose: I never do very much with my eyebrows.
Blanche: That's why from the nose up, you look like Wilford Brimley.
Rose: Where are you going?
Sophia: The President is in town, so a bunch of us are going to his hotel to see his wife. I just loved her in Father Knows Best.
Rose: Sophia, you're a little confused, honey. That was Jane Wyatt, the President was married to Jane Wyman.
Sophia: That old crow from Falcon Crest ?
Rose: Well, it doesn't matter, they're not married anymore. Now he's married to Nancy Davis.
Sophia: From All About Eve?
Rose: That's Bette Davis.
Sophia: The one who beat her kids with wire hangers?
Rose: No, that was Joan Crawford.
Sophia: The fat cop from Highway Patrol?
Rose: [thinks] That was Broderick Crawford.
Sophia: The President was married to Broderick Crawford? And Mondale still lost, what an idiot!
Sophia: The President is in town, so a bunch of us are going to his hotel to see his wife. I just loved her in Father Knows Best.
Rose: Sophia, you're a little confused, honey. That was Jane Wyatt, the President was married to Jane Wyman.
Sophia: That old crow from Falcon Crest ?
Rose: Well, it doesn't matter, they're not married anymore. Now he's married to Nancy Davis.
Sophia: From All About Eve?
Rose: That's Bette Davis.
Sophia: The one who beat her kids with wire hangers?
Rose: No, that was Joan Crawford.
Sophia: The fat cop from Highway Patrol?
Rose: [thinks] That was Broderick Crawford.
Sophia: The President was married to Broderick Crawford? And Mondale still lost, what an idiot!
Rose: You know, sometimes when people are under pressure, they sleep to escape.
Sophia: Dorothy's father used to do that. Unfortunately it was usually during foreplay.
Dorothy: Ma, the man is dead.
Sophia: Longer than you think.
Sophia: Dorothy's father used to do that. Unfortunately it was usually during foreplay.
Dorothy: Ma, the man is dead.
Sophia: Longer than you think.
Rose: You're the one who always complains that her birthday parties are dull and boring. When I saw Mr. Ha Ha's advertised on television, it looked like fun.
Dorothy: For a five year old, Rose. Or someone who thinks like one!
Dorothy: For a five year old, Rose. Or someone who thinks like one!