The Golden Girls quotes

465 total quotes



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Sophia: [playing Scrabble with Dorothy] I win!
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There is no such word as that!
Sophia: There certainly is.
Dorothy: Fine. I'll look it up, and if it isn't in the dictionary, I win.
Sophia: We don't have a dictionary.
Dorothy: Yes we do.
Sophia: Not anymore, the robbers took it.
Dorothy: They stole our dictionary?
Sophia: That's right. Too bad.
Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word! You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word!
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: [pauses] You're no good at disdam game!

Sophia: [referring to the bench] Someone sitting there?
Alvin: Cataracts or glaucoma?

Sophia: [referring to who's buying her breakfast] It's Alvin.
Rose: Alvin from the boardwalk?
Sophia: No Rose, Alvin from The Chipmunks.

Sophia: [seeing Blanche in her old retro-like outfit] Who invited Gidget to the garage sale?

Sophia: [Singing to the tune of "Thanks for the Memory"] "Thanks for the Medicare / For Blue Cross and Blue Shield / For a hip that finally healed / Remember, on prescriptions, generic is a steal / We thank you so much!" Okay, what did you think? Now don't hold back, I can take the criticism.
Blanche: Depressing.
Dorothy: Awful.
Rose: Stinky.
Sophia: [Unplugging her boombox and storming out] Go to hell, all of ya!

Sophia: [tasting her sauce] Mmm... if this sauce was a person I'd get naked and make love to it.

Sophia: [to Blanche] You know what I can't stand anymore? That phony accent of yours. What is this, Designing Women?

Sophia: [to Dorothy] I can't believe you're denying your own mother.
Rose: Denying her what?
Dorothy: Springsteen tickets Rose.

Sophia: [to Dr. Ashley] I knew you were a quack! If you were a legitimate shrink you would've strung us along for months!

Sophia: [to Marguerite] So what's all this about you putting a curse on my daughter?
Dorothy: [doomed] We're all gonna be turned into kumquats.

Sophia: [to Rose] There's a man in your bed.
Rose: ...Sophia, there's not!
Blanche: [to Rose] Why, you devil, you!
Dorothy: So that was what we heard! Rose!
Blanche: Rose got lucky!
Sophia: Not so lucky. The man in your bed is dead.

Sophia: [translating for Vincenzo] Before we begin, [Vincenzo speaks between each line] let's make one thing clear. I am in charge. I am the boss. I am the master. I Am the Walrus.
Dorothy: Ma, either your Italian is rusty or he's the world's oldest hippie.

Sophia: [upon learning that she's not invited to see Burt Reynolds with the others] Fine, break an old lady's heart. If you need me I'll be out back with the rest of the garbage!

Sophia: [upon meeting Blanche's overweight daughter, a former model] What did she model, car covers?

Sophia: A lie is a lie, which is a sin, which sends ya straight to hell. Who told a lie?
Blanche: Oh, who hasn't?
Sophia: Me. I never lie.
Dorothy: Ma, how much did you lose at the dog track last week?
Sophia: None of your business, and that's the truth!